Sunday, 22 November 2009

..coots cry, too..

..it is easy for me to cry..sometimes for reasons negligible..and they say men don't cry..only girls do..but this old coot cries easily..lest you think of me as a sissy, let me tell you straight..I am as manly as they come..but I cry easy..tearjerkers make me cry..as songs from my youth..songs of yesterdays from YouTube like Wan Salman's Kelohan Dara will released that stopper-valve in my eyes and I will flood the room..so does songs like 'Pretty Blue Eyes' by Steve Lawrence..I supposed it reminds me of an era when I was foolishly young..and so much in love..with the girl next door...my classmate..and that Chinese girl with the pony-tail..

..and would you believed, I cried when my tabby, Ayam lost her beau, Bobi..something about her eyes when she looked at me whilst sitting pat on where they had him buried..but a misunderstanding that landed a punch on my face, cutting the brow, and ended with six stitches did not made me cry..but I cried, when reading the Yasin over the body of a dead friend..he was a shooting and a hunting buddy..many a days found us in some padi-fields somewhere hunting snipes and water-fowls..I cried profusely...to the surprise of his widow and children..

..I even cried when I found the scenery too beautiful, too profound for words..like that one night on some mountains, too tired to continue we had made camp...I looked up to a moonless sky, but studded with a trillion stars, so near I thought I could just reached out and grasped them..God created the Heavens for man..that we may be thankful..I looked up towards the stars and felt my cheeks hot with the tears that unconsciously flowed..

..and I cried, silently, when my second daughter gave birth to her first daughter..when she was put into my arms, trailing blood and wet..I looked at the miracle, squirming in my arms and the tears flowed..but I did not cry when my mother died..the tears came later..not at her grave..but alone in my room after a prayer..wishing that life has a rewind button..that it could have been better between me and her..and I prayed that God will forgive her sins in as much as He will forgive mine..

..no, crying is not just for girls..old geezers like me cried, too..

'How can you write if you can't cry?'
- Ring Lardner -

16 comments:

Lili said...

Salam Pakmat,

This posting is indeed very beautifully penned. It touched my heart and soul. When we know we can cry over something ordinary, it is in itself a miracle...
Pakmat, don't be afraid to cry. Big boys do cry!

'Rainy days and Mondays always get me down...'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPmbT5XC-q0

Take care and have a nice sundae..er...I mean, Sunday!

hazeleyed said...

Ass-salam Pakmat
i cried reading your N3.
Do not hesitate to cry...for crying is only Humane!

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Pakcik...there is no shame whatsoever in seeing men having moist eyes or tears....we are human.
We feel pain, we feel joy...be it a beautiful night on a mountain or seeing, holding a new born baby...and no smile is as beautiful as those that come thru tears.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Let your tears come. Let them water your soul.

Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.

Have a pleasant week, Pakcik....Lee.

pakmat said...

Lili.
Pakmat loves the song..thank you..and you take care, too..jdbb...:)

Hazel,
..salam, and aw..pakmat doesn't mean to make you cry..smile tht little smile, lady..

Uncle Lee..
..wow, lee, such beautiful words from you..it gets to my very quick..there's poetry in your words..and it would melt any syt's heart..'the soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.'.beautiful lines, lee, beautiful lines..given the chance I will quote this..
..an take care of your health, lee..you've already used up most of the nine lives..whatever that is left is precious..
..and you,too, have a nice week..its cold now in Bachok, about 26 Celsius..:)

ZubaidahArshad said...

I can't remember the last time I cried, but I do know that most of the times, like you, I am touched by a tad too many things. That beautiful scenery as what you've mentioned, and the death of a friend, and so many more occasions that drive me to a deep silent.

and thinking, what if those things never happen.

wonderful write-ups you have over here.

cheers

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Pakmat, ha ha, saya suka your lively sense of humour.
Thats one reason since my young days I mix or had more Malay friends than other races, not to mention the anak perumpuans....even today too.
Malays, male and female species have a fantastic sense of humour, even the old kampong neneks too.

Terima kaseh for your kind compliments....i love poetry, beautiful sayings and will memorise them when young....how to win hearts (SYT's), but now age has caught up, copy in my pc.....

We men fall in love with our eyes, women thru their telingas....so I put some marmalade and sapu sikit honey...duduk ke Green Grove coffee house at Foch Ave, boleh lepas handbrake.
Ha ha, yes Pakmat, I remember Green Grove, and that shop you mentioned near Rex.
You lived in KL before?

Opposite Rex cinema was that coffee shop cum restaurant, 'Cheong Kee'....waaa, the owner's anak perumpuan, betul buat kita young blades lintang pukang. She was gorgeous, with traffic stopper body too.

As well her shop serves the best coconut ice cream in town...and bila she duduk behind counter, we order one ice cream cone....makan macham baru keluar Sahara, masuk balek order another one, ha ha.

I guess you must have gone for late night supper at Campbell road with your SYT friends, those row of kedai makanan. Makan satay, rojak,mee soto, mee rebus, ice kachang.
When I dated a couple of Malay actresses and went there for supper, alamak, the Paparazzi boom time...ha ha.

My gang and I used to patronise the last corner shop, owner's nama was 'Ah Poh'.
By the way Pakmat, you remember there was a Thai Ramvong dance hall at Batu road, after the Rimv.

Holy Smoke! Had a few fights there too, ha ha...kawan serani saya gila one of the Thai hostesses...and she had other admirers too. Apa lagi....ha ha.

But Pakmat, one good thing, those days no drugs, except Aspirin for our parents, ha ha.
Terima kaseh for your memories Pakmat....Lee.

pakmat said...

ZuAr..
..hmm..an engineer who is also a wordsmith..fatal combination, lady..passion with a calculative eye for weights and measures..

and lines like these..

'If these clouds and the thumping storm mean another chance to mourn and to lament, please bring me my moon, at least I know that the crescent looks good on the black canvas of the night..

breaks this old coot's heart..:)

..glad for the chance of knowing you..take care..

Justiffa said...

Salam Pakmat.. jgn la nangis, nangis dah la kelate tgh dok banjir tu ;)

I've never been a very feminine sort of person n crying doesnt come to me all that easily.. not until lately that is. i think its mostly age thats playing havoc with our feelings.. mudah tersentuh, sensitive to our surroundings, the whole thing. i figure there must be a reason for it so i've just let floodgates go (most times to the embarrassment of my kids lol).

Take care, jdbb ;D

pakmat said...

Uncle Lee..KL was my second home..and yes, we have our memories..:)

Justi..must be this andropause thing..playing havoc with my hormones and feelings..:)
all the best to your ah, justi, and her teman tapi mesra..and you take care..jdbb

Anonymous said...

Andropause, hormone ,feeling...Agree with this... Saturday went to my kids penyampaian hadiah tengok budak2 nasyid pun dah tangkap leleh

MFT

pakmat said...

..et tu, mft..?..:)..all the more reason to start that blog..!

YuinTing Chin said...

Salam Pakmat, I'm touched by what you've written. You must be a very loving and sentimental person.

pakmat said...

..salam ytc..welcome to my igloo..:)
and yes, pakmat is bit sentimental..must be my age..

nataliaku said...

salam pak mat, i cry when my second sister got on marriage.. hihi.. never forget that time.... i don`t want she 'leave' me.. but i realized that she also get her life... :).. a little bit of selfish i guess, right?

pakmat said...

..crying at yr sister's marriage is normat, an..look at it this way..you ever lose her.,.but gain a bro-in-law..soon it will be your time, too..and this old man don't know wht is nasi lalap,...:)

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

Beautiful!

I so agree with Ring Lardner "How can you write if you can't cry?"

Just beautiful.