Tuesday, 16 February 2010

..gaps in teeth..gaps in generations...

..other than the gaps in my teeth, there is also this gap in generations between me and my children.. that sometimes  is a bit disconcerting..

..being of today's generation, they are tech savvy and knowledgeable about almost everything..from the latest gadgetry to techniques in bringing up children..which to this oldster is mostly a hands-off policy..eat when they are hungry..sleep when they are sleepy..when in my days we were to measure the amount of milk per feed and the number of feed per day..these days you give until they stop..forget about changing and washing napkins or nappy liners..now everything is disposable..sometimes even the babies are thrown along with the diapers..sheesh..

..and discipline is lax..you do not reprimand children, they say..you talk to them..well, how do you go about talking to them when they won't listen?..

..I used to tell my children that there  should be a reasonable difference in age between spouses..with the husband to at least be 3 years older..they rolled their eyes when I said that a man of 24 is much younger than a woman of the same age..I told my daughters to marry someone older, that you may grow old together..or marry someone younger and he will have a hard time to catch up with you..and they laughed at me..papa is so obsolete..and I said wait until you have several children, then you will know what I mean..

..but when it comes to choosing their life partners, children these days  acted on their own..parents come in only after the choices were made..and even if a father may have his objections, as I did with my fourth daughter's choice, here, they have a way of getting over those objections..and a loving father relented..only to sometimes regret later..and it is not in the nature of fathers to say, I told you so...but to take her in your arms, and wipe those tears..and pray that she will have the strength to face the situation...

17 comments:

mamasita said...

Read both this entry and that about your daughter after having 2 kids..yes..budak2 sekarang cepatnya nak kawin and then cepatnys nak take the easy way out..divorcee.

But you must remember, your daughter cannot stay on if she wants to move on..she has to make decisions now..for herself and her small kids.
Let the father leave/boot him out and hes got to grow up.
Jangan let your daughter continue with her mistake..

P.S. We have 7 children..gosh janganlah kitaorang kena advise any of them in this way..

Cat-in-Sydney said...

Abe Mat,
Brad is younger than me. See...I was just trying to follow your advice. Not that I was being unreasonable. Aaahhh...all of these matters of the heart, they're never ending. purrr....meow!

naba the mutant said...

Pakmat, younger generation (like me..ehem!) find that it is hard to admit that they make mistakes (esp. to their own parents)...but if i do, i really want my parents to take me in their arms...just like you did...

pakmat said...

...apa pun, mamasita, I'll try and save the marriage..my 2 cucu's are too young..butl in the lend it will be her decision..and 7 children keeps a mother's heart full..:)

..matters of the heart never end, my dear cat..and regards to Brad..

..salam, naba of Tokushima..and your parents will not only take you into their arms, but will sh..sh..you and kiss you..and then, :) reprimand you..take care in Japan..

性感的我 said...

^^ 謝謝你的分享,祝你生活永遠多彩多姿!........................................

Ozz said...

oh....been there, seen that, felt it.

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Pakmat, we were the Jedi knights. may the force be with you type..hehehe. Always switched on to manual instead of autopilot. Younger generations, alas had lost this 'gut feeling' sixth sense intuition that we once had; due to what??? Progress?? Sad, human touch is being replaced with dependencies on technology! Common sense is no longer common anymore leh, how lah?

pakmat said...

..sorry, sir..I have yet to master Chinese characters..tho some of my good friends are Chinese characters..:)

..felt and seen it, ozz?..you have children of marriageable age?..:)

hi, tommy..among reasons why pakmat like to drive manual transmission cars..be in total control..but today's gen..everything is in auto mode..and disposable..and today's troubadours extolling free love..and movies hinting premarital sex as the in thing..and Valentine's Day celebrated minus your panties..cannot help it if my generation feels abit lost..and a little bewildered..I do not know what the world is coming to..but I supposed, grandfathers before me were once just as bewildered...cheers..

Ozz said...

Dear Pakmat,

One of my younger sister with 3 small kids got divorced a few years back. Yes! The first word that came out from my mouth was "I TOLD YOU SO". But as a brother I tried to save her marriage but didn't end well. The custody battle, the nafkah tug wars, the syariah court sessions etc, had to be handled by me. I looked after her kids, fed them, schooled them, paid everything also acted as their father in the turbulence time. After that, for the reason to renew her life, she went to pursue her masters degree and left all the responsibilities with me. There she met a new guy and she has remarried, and oops....to a wrong guy again....and oops.....she did it again. I have already lost for words.

yushida03 said...

daughters.. sometimes give me wonders.. sometimes they make me smile, giggle and even laugh my heart out.. it's a long way to go for me.. for the eldest of mine is only approaching her 3rd anniversary.. thanking you pakmat for sharing the thoughts..

rizal hashim said...

PakMat, I'm a gap-toothed chap you know...haha

I shudder the thought of having to confront my daughter on the choices she makes in life, Pak Mat, life is about making choices, right or wrong and react in positive manner so that you can bounce back if you happen to opt for the wrong route...

looking at my 5-year old, PakMat, I know she can be quite obstinate and single-minded...reminds me of my sister, my arwah Mak and Atok, strong women in their own right.

I'm quite sure I will have a few skirmishes with my daughter, I'm just hopeful that I'll be able to provide her guidance and that she listens.

I pray that should she be making the wrong decisions, she will have the courage to move on and learn from them...

fening...fening

Gayah Gebu said...

dear pakmat,

i am pretty sure, if my dad read this entry, he would be shaking your hand virtually, fully understood what a father goes through for the sake of a daughter.

i'm not married yet but the amount of heart ache i've caused him, sheez... :(

pakmat said...

Ozz..life has dealt your sister a bad turn..but she was lucky to have you as her brother..for I know of many brothers who would care less..let us pray that she will be luckier the third time..God willing..and Ozz, what you did was exemplary..

yus03..the bests time to be, yus..watching and guiding them grow..but with children, it is always the best of time..regardless what age they are..for later you will be enjoying talking to them as adults..:)

pakmat said...

..lc..your words make me smile:)..the worries of a typical doting father with children growing up faster than he could blink..:)..but it ok..life has a way of sorting itself out..we can only guide..but can never take over..there will be skirmishes, yes, but it strengthens the bond between a father and his child..other than that..relax..just enjoy those moments with them..for those are the moments that you will have to reminisce by once you reached my age..:) cheers..

gg..and I will gladly shake your father's hand..for he loves you through all the heartaches that you have caused him..:)

~Covert_Operations'78~ said...

Dear Pak Mat,
You have to trust your daughter's instincts. Young people are not as foolish and impulsive as you think. It may be healthier for the children to see their parents living separate healthy lives than to see them quarrel every day and one parent getting a raw deal while the other doesn't contribute to the family unit. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Sending you our support and strength -- you will need it.

pakmat said...

thank you, co78..it is better to have loved..as for my daughter, I am playing it by the ear..lets see how it goes..thanks for the support and strength..we need it..

christmas gift basket ideas said...

I like the fact that finally i can read a dogs thoughts. I've always wanted to since i was a kid. lol
I will certainly be reading more....
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