Tuesday, 24 August 2010

..life as a polygamist..

..it is not easy..when you have two wives and try to live out your life between them, it is more like a high wire balancing act without the poles..it is easy to fall..

..they say the first year into polygamy you have to act deaf, sometimes dumb..blind, too, to the harangues and tirades from your first..most time you have to be thick-skinned..to the undertones and soft whispers whenever you are in company..for the minute it becomes known that you have two wives, your moral values, your integrity, even your sanity comes into question..

..I remember when I had two..

..I tried as best as I could to be fair..spending alternate nights between the two..and trying to be punctual..yet trying to spend more time with the first and less time with the second, for they are children this side and none yet on the other..it gets tricky, too.. there may be functions that you have to attend with the first on the days you should be with the second..it was one big juggling act..only with fire-sticks..

..you have to take care of your job, too..and give a little space for yourself..so, in truth, your are juggling between four needs..

..a sense of humour helps..enough to keep your wits about you and see the funnier side of things as you rushed to the other side as she called at two in the morning to tell you that your child had a fever or a fall and need immediate medical attention, and you were then still within the warm embrace of your second..

..P.Ramlee more or less nailed it when he said: 'Hidup susah...mati pun susah.."

16 comments:

NanaDJ said...

Saudara Mat,
My late grandma used to say men with two wives or more 'sengaja cari penyakit'. I always think that whatever the hardships they may face, the advantageous far outweigh the inconvenience, otherwise why do they marry more than one?

Cat-in-Sydney said...

Abe Mat,
P Ramlee also said..."Ana kawin tiga" but you didn't resort to that, eh? Well, to each his own. Am sure the lessons and memories learnt will make a better person of you. Now, how about writing a book - Memoir of a Polygamist - that will surely become a bestseller. purrr....meow!

Pak Zawi said...

Pak Mat,
A cousin once had three. Later they were reduced to just one and now he is left with none and trying to console himself doing the Umrah in Mecca. For Pak Zawi one is enough.

Anonymous said...

Pak Mat

Nowadays men marry more than one for the wrong reason.One very not so important is lust.
Whole trouble with the whole world is the .O..!

wawa

Red Alfa said...

Your take on having two did overlook the bedroom challenges some polygamists do seem to be preoccupied with. Perhaps you are made of more stiffer stuff (pun intended?)

The polygamists who are about our ages also do seem to have more than the usual awareness of the male power diet and especially on what works.

Since turning 50, I have been into nutritious dieting and muscle toning exercises. Dear wife used to but now doesn't joke about my health conscious faddishness. Any wonder why?

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Gee, i don't think i can handle this sort of situation. Add to what PZ said; 'one in MORE than enough' :))

Mind u i'd got 4 grandmas - 2 from each side. I notice that in both cases, one always handle the domestic side of the family, the other will help the old man runs the business. Surprisingly none of my uncles got 2 wives.

Good luck,
Tommy

Lil Bella said...

errr pakmat, i thought you have 3? out of curiosity, did u rush over or did you stay in the warmth...?

aiiyya cant wait for the polygamist memoir lah

DrSinga said...

salam Ramadhan PakMat...
(menyapa sikit2 ..pelan2 dulu... :) )
.

Anonymous said...

Always amusing topic for the polygamist but not to the kids and first.

Keluarga Korban Poligami

pakmat said...

friends, including Keluarga Korban Poligami..

it is not my purpose to discuss here the merits or demerits of polygamy..God in His Greatness has provisions for it..and He knows what we knows not..and as His creations, we are not to think ill about His intentions..my posting may sounds light..but the intention is sincere..so that others may learn from it..for polygamy is not something you simply rushed into..

..allow me to analogise..life is like that car journey we took..and polygamy is that accidents that happened..nobody in his right mind starts a journey with the intention to ram his car against another..but it happened..no matter how well prepared he was for the journey..new tyres..engined checked..wipers etc..once it happened, we could spend the rest of our days blaming the driver..or we could pick ourselves up, tend to our bruises and wounds and continue with our journey..the choice is ours..we can asked ourselves why it happened to us and not to others..others drove at hell bend speed, yet arrived safely..well, that's life..there are certain things that we are not in control..sesudah berikhtiar, kita bertawakal..selainnya ada lah qada atas diri kita..

for some of us, life gave us a bad turn..but that is how it is..and we give our thanks to Him..for His Mercies..

pakmat said...

salam NanaDj..memang pun, sengaja cari penyakit..

my dear cat..my blog is my memoir..unedited and unabridged,,:)

salam PZ..for most one is enough..true..

salam wawa..for right or wrong reasons, they do..to me even the wrong reasons could be right..after all polygamy is curb adultery..and to give legal status to the offsprings..

salam Red Alfa..with or without a second wife a man has to take care of his health..supplements, of course..you know what they say..better once weekly than once weakly..:)

salam tommy..actually, it is less of a burden if a woman shares her hubby with another..you know, division of labour..:)

salam lil bella..yes, I did have three..but two at a time..:) no memoirs, lady..this blog is it..

salam DocLioness..salam Ramadan to you and family, too..and welcome to my blog..my life for everyone to see..:)

salam keluarga korban poligami..polygamy will be the subject of jokes and laughter..maybe it is a way of us coming to terms with it..take care..

kyora said...

as interesting as always pak mat :)

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Pak mat, it’s not for any of us to neither condone nor condemn what’s already written in the stars.

But I must say u had one helluva of a ride going over speed humps, running red lights, overtaking over continuous double lines, making illegal U-turns, illegal parking & what not but I’m glad u have not kill or maim anyone on the road. You had paid your fines & hard labour, that’s already punishment enough.

This one for u.

Jump in my Car

Selamat berpuasa,

Tommy

pakmat said...

..salam kyora..selamat berpuasa dirantau..take care..

..the song is a beaut..never heard it before..which is strange..I thought I got it all covered..hmm..

Zubaidah Arshad said...

pakmat is charming :)

pakmat said...

..thank you, zuar..as you are yourself..:)