Friday, 29 October 2010

..the many ways of blindness..



..after a while we reached a stage where there is nothing to quarrel about..things just settled into an agreement, acquiescence..any perceived aberrations elicit no protests..life is routine and humdrum..there is a perpetual calm in the sea..and, sometimes, at odd moments when I am alone with my thoughts, I missed my polygamous mayhem days..when the mind was almost always in overdrive..countering arguments..driving in my misguided points..and the left foot pressed on the accelerator, taking corners with squeals and a rush..

..and as I wrote this, I glanced at my wife who is snoring peacefully in bed..she was once my second wife..whom society would normally tabbed as the home-wrecker..emissaries sent to discover the type of girl she was that pakmat was so taken up marrying must have been a bit taken back when they met her..just a simple village girl, comfortable in kurung and sarong..hardly the sex-siren that they thought she was, measuring against my gallavanting ways..but we married properly..properly in the sense that I followed procedures, filled in the proper forms and went through interviews by the kadi's office..

..extract from pakmat's interview..
...officer from kadi's office:..hmm, I see that pakmat already had a wife, children, and good salary..
..pakmat: silence..
..ofko: ..so.....why this need for polygamy?..
..pakmat: silence..

..from wife..
..ofko:...hmm..do you know he is already married?
..wife: I know..
..ofko: and you still want to marry him?
..wife: yes..

..her late father..

..ofko: ..do you know that your daughter will be marrying a married man?..
..father: yes..
..ofko..you have no objection?
..father: she is the one marrying..not me..
..ofko: silence..

..we married a week later..and the peaceful sea knew no more the calm. there is no end to man's fascination with pain....

27 comments:

Grandpa said...

Salam Bangmat, apalah yang dapat ku katakan, betapa sedih pilu kita cuba bayangkan, berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu yang memikulnya. As a final thought and way out: jodoh pertemuan di tangan tuhan, kita boleh merancang tetapi hanya DIA yang menentukan. I try to find solace in that

Wan Sharif said...

"I miss my polygamous mayhem days"...Agaknya itulah yang saya masih ingin bekerja.. "I will miss office mayhem days.. the arguments, disagreements on something very subjective as geology (the rocks, the plate tectonics, strike slip versus subduction theory, geochemistry, principal force of stress, porosity, hydrocarbon saturation .. you-name-it) and the whole gamut of things.. that can push my faculty to go into overdrive.. Non?

Cat-in-Sydney said...

Aaahhh...Abe Mat is continuing his autobiography...I like! purrr....meow!

bangkai said...

"polygamous mayhem days" - I like that. The phrase, I mean. Not the state :-)

Tommy Yewfigure said...

so u r with 2nd wife now, what happened to 3rd wife or r u all under one roof?

Also at kadi office, is the 1st wife there to give her blessing / permission for u to take #2.

Just curious.

pakmat said...

salam grandpa..I tried to find solace in that too..:)..penentuan, tentunya dari Dia..

salam wan..those days are opiating..it is an addiction..I think when we aged, only the body does..the soul is ageless..it does not grow old..

salam cat..heheh..I like it, too..when talking about oneself, who does not?..meow..cat for 'take care'

salam sofi..but you must..try the state..and I am sure, later, you find yourself enjoying writing more..:)

pakmat said...

salam tommy..I am monogamous now, tommy..my 3rd?..we parted a few years back..I ran out of steam..we shifted rails and went our separate ways..she had since remarried and we kept touch through our daughter..my first? she was not present at the kadi's..in polygamy, you do not have to seek permission from your first to take another..you should informed her, of course..which I did..all those laws prohibiting men from taking up polygamy are put up by the women's lobby..restricting the men..which I think is wrong..if they r so against polygamy, then they should put up laws preventing their kind from marrying others husband..say, any women found consorting in the company of married men should be fined RM50,000 and sebat with the rotan say, 10 times..maybe in public..how about that?..hehehe..:)

curly hair said...

hm...i don't know what to say pak mat...tapi nak tinggal comment gak.

enjoy your weekend...(i guess that will do)

Zendra-Maria said...

dear pakmat, love is blind as they say, but why did you go mute at the interview?

tq

pakmat said...

salam curly hair...its ok..you do not have to say anything...I am happy that you cared to stop by..have a nice weekend yourself..take care and jdbb..jaga diri baikbaik..:)

salam zen..well...there are times when guys like me are tonguetied...:) I thought I let my case rest without the submission..and you caught well my allusion in post title..but then I do not expect anything less from you..:)cheers

Kama At-Tarawis said...

you are just plain incorrigible! LOL...

yohteh said...

...morning Pakmat...
polygamy, you're right on track... you still have a deservedly time to make it again... hehe...

pakmat said...

..well, lady K, you know what they say about toothless old dogs that can no more bite..or run after cars..or raise its tails.., it is only barks..harmless..:)

Sir Pök Déng said...

Me second Bangkai's (Uncle Sofian) comment.

pakmat said...

..now, now, yowteh, dont you go on humouring and old man..you might give him ideas..:) hard to handle will when the body is weak..

pakmat said...

..the state of polygamous mayhem?..aw,spd...there are also mayhem in monogamy..its what kept life interesting..:) as soon, one day, (not too long, I hope)you will discover..along with contentment, satisfaction..and a sense of fulfillment..for marriage is like that..and more..

mekyam said...

v. interesting, pakmat! :D

first let me state up front that i don't really approve of polygamy, except in very special circumstances. because the religion allows it alone doesn't cut it for me.

that said, i do have to admit to finding myself oddly forgiving in your case. i'm not sure if it's because i have a soft spot for people who are gifted with turning phrases, or because i totally buy the sense of genuine regret for having caused hurts that i hear in your tone. whichever, i have to say that it is quite artless the way you plead mea culpa before regaling us with your tales of wife tallying. ;D

but more than that, it is also because i believe in to each his own. i think freedom to make choices, bad, dismal or plain dumb, is a God-given right to everyone. as my husband is fond of saying, we are not able to jump over our own shadows. it's a germanic expression, equivalent to the french que sera sera. nor are we able to live in each other's shoes. thus none of us really know what motivates people to do certain things.

"if a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. so let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away." thus wrote henry david thoreau.

i understood him to mean that one should do things in one's own way regardless of societal norms and expectations and the unorthodox in me has always nodded in complete agreement to that.

you pakmat dear, polygamous mayhem notwithstanding, have done nothing less. bully for you that you can also tell it with such panache! ;D

pakmat said...

I think it has to do with this certain infinity the feminine of the gender has with rogues and rascals...and anti-heroes as so poignantly displayed on the silver-screen..not that I am saying you are one yourself..but I sometime found my daughters rooting for the bad guys more..:)but I have yet to find someone from the other side who would wholeheartedly advocate polygamy..but I do try to tell it like it is..with a lil bit of humour..and if someone can draw lessons from it..and make some conclusions out of it..then maybe my blog is not in vain..aside from entertaining..and maybe I have been marching to a different drummer all the time..and keeping my measured steps from some distance music..
of course, I loved being a bit out of norm..hehehe..cheers, my fair lady..

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Thanks Pakmat, I'm still learning and Mek, what more can I say :D

Pakmat, been awhile since I select a song for your listening pleasure, here goes 1976, a good year!

Arms of Mary

Cheers,
Tommy

P/S - Zen, Pakmat chose his right to remain silence mah...wise move!

Anonymous said...

SELAMAT TINGAL PAK MAT, petang nanti saya ka KLIA sebelum bertolak ka Kanada pukul 4 pagi nanti, saya balik bercuti, dan dirumah orang tua saya ada komputer, jadi saya pun 'berjslsn2 lah' orang2 disini ramai melayu yang malu bercakap melayu, anjing british la katakan, tidak seperti di tempat kami 'kanada' kalau ssiapa yang teramat lancar bercakap british dia akan di humban ke dalam salji, mesti cakap slank kanada, kami bukannya orang bodoh macam kebanyakan orang disini. thanker PatMat, pakmat lah satu-satu nya contoh orang melayu tiada bahasa sendiri dan tidak minat ISLAM, JUMPA LAGI PAK MAT AKHIR TAHUN DEPAN ITUPUN KALAU MASIH HISUP.

Red Alfa said...

Salam Pak Mat

I am intrigued "...there is no end to man's fascination with pain...."

Polygamy problems/issues/worries are just that and couldn't be any more painful than the usual throbs of headaches surely, but then again unlike you I haven't yet tried or had got to how to start with another.

Red Alfa said...

Salam Pak Mat

I am intrigued "...there is no end to man's fascination with pain...."

Polygamy problems/issues/worries are just that and couldn't be any more painful than the usual throbbings of headaches surely, but then again unlike you I haven't yet tried or had got to how to start with another.

ismi said...

pak mat i m really impressed with the words u use, most i ve nvr used n not know the meaning. can i know where u studied English. even though here in my country english is our 1st languange, i have not reach ur level of mastering the language.

btw interesting read about ur journey. so really wondering what attracted you to the 2nd and third..any 4th?

lady lavender said...

PakMat -- I am intrigued -- your friends obviously see you as a sort of rogue in your polygamous escapes...Love/lust can be so intoxicating...Are you mellowed? Wiser? LOL

Love your blog piece on your old house BTW!! Nostalgia all the way!

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Pakmat, there is no thumbs up 'LIKE' button here, so can I register my 'LIKE' on Red Alfa's 2 comments above :))
P/S - I'm so looking forward to yours & U know who responds to that...kekeke...

pakmat said...

..salam tommy,..but I think she is staying clear..:)

salam redalfa..some pain brings joy..and polygamy is not something you get yourself into just to experience the pain..for the joy is in the pain..:)sheesh, I am not making any sense..but sometimes, polygamy does not make sense to most ppl..but for those who succeeded, then it is enlightenment all the way..but I wouldnt recommend it..

pakmat said...

..aw, ismi..a subtle compliment for this old coot..and I am basking in it..but like everybody else, I learn it in school..and from reading, from where I derived the utmost pleasure..and I am too old and tired for a fourth..:)

salam lady lavender..mellowed?..wiser?..let me put it this way..I've learned a few things, gathered some expericnce, I might not repeat the same mistakes, given the same situation, but it does necessarily make me wiser..experience and age does not make one wiser..just careful..:)