Friday, 5 March 2010

..jodoh and polygyny..

.marry not a woman for her beauty..or for her wealth..but  for her piety..or a man for his position and wealth, but for his virtue and religion...

..sometimes we agree that jodoh is something within His knowledge..we are taught since young, that God, in his Greatness have preordained three things when life is breathed into an embryo of 12 weeks..his bounty..his death and his jodoh...which could be once or several...and we are taught Qhada...that can be changed through sincere and ernest du'a..and those that cannot be changed..and all these are within His Knowledge..


..and when we parted, we say that it is the end of our jodoh..until he or she marries again..then we say that they still have jodoh..


.....even though Islam provides for polygamy, not either spouse can have more  that one spouse at one time, Islam actually provides only for polygyny, only the husband having more than one wife simultaneously..for Islam does not allow polyandry, where the wife can have more than one husband at the same time..polyandry is haram in Islam..saying, 'what if I have more than one husband?' runs contrary to what is allowed in Islam.


..taking into account the above, to me, there is no such thing as true jodoh or false jodoh..although there is a tendency  to think that the first marriage is your true jodoh..but if the husband takes on the second wife, then that second marriage as a false jodoh..or seeken jodoh..you seek, therefore you find..but whether 2, 3, 4 or 1, Islam provides for seeking out your jodoh..within certain guidelines..and it  does not necessarily end  with death..as divorce will also end a particular jodoh..until, perhaps, another takes over..


..inasmuch as there  are those who lived  and died without meeting their jodoh, there are those, like pakmat, who had several within their lifetime..again within His Knowledge and Consent...as all things are..


..but as to why me and not you, or why mine and not yours..that, I think, is not for us, as His Creations, to ask or wonder..for all things have His Hikmah..His Blessings..if we but care to ponder and reflect..

.

9 comments:

NanaDJ said...

Pak Mat,

Only Allah knows what is best for each of us. As human being we should strive not to hurt other people's feelings if we can.If not we should minimise the damage. The sad thing is, in any break up or polygamous marriage, it is always the children that are the victims and we will never know the extent of the hidden and concealed scars.
Salaam

Snakebite said...

as one who is in polygyny, would you recomend it to others pakmat?

Ozz said...

Dear Pakmat,
Any hidden agenda with this post?

pakmat said...

..no, datok snake..not if one can help it..
..and no, Ozz, just putting into words what my thoughts about it..could be wrong..:)

pakmat said...

salam nanaDj..children suffer in or out of such marriages..but we tend to highlight such children..other than that, other things being equal, chances to a child's happiness is about the same..(to my mind)..

Pak Zawi said...

Tatak,
The heart is keen but the body isn't. After seeing what happened to the many family members who went polygamous, I'd rather not jump into the same bandwagon.

pakmat said...

..and I don't think you should, pakzawi..and it has been quite sometimes I have been called 'tatak'..hmm..reminds me of old times..and of a someone..:) but I loved you new kitchen, anyway..cheers..for the way to woman's her is through providing a spanking new kitchen...

Anonymous said...

salam pak mat, tumpang lalu, pak zawi u better dont, sebab yg jadi mangsa anak2...kesian laa kat kami...kami nie teramatlah fragile...dari segi perasaan, hati dan lain2

ms tatak

pakmat said...

..salam ms tatak..well, pakzawi..children is another chapter altogether..if you factor in them, then it is not worth it..and ms tatak..you may tumpang lalu as often as you like..cheers..