Wednesday, 27 January 2010

..yesterday's sun..

If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, 
your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars 
- Rabindranath Tagore.




..I used to dread getting old..



..on a clear day, you can see forever..
..highest point, East West Highway..


.. I clutched at those little things that I thought would helped me retard it..not being one of means or power, I could not buy that red, open-top sportscar with horse-power enough to move a goods train..and flashed it at those delectable syt's and starlets...

..I could not do an expensive nip and tuck operation, either...

so I did the next best thing..I dyed my hair..having a wife in the hair business helps..but hair has a nasty habit of growing..pushing up the dyed parts.. with the silver and gold appearing at the stems..after a while it gets bothersome..so I stopped dyeing them..

'I can shave you bald,' teased the wife..sheesh...

.. or I could try marrying a girl one third my age..hey, its cheaper than that sports car.. it could keep me young..wrong again, I guess..it will only makes you older..you will be panting just to keep pace..and the wrinkles will appear faster..not to mention a few teeth dropped along the way..no, unlike Tommy's uncle, I could not Raise the Red Lantern..no matter how good the movie..


..but unlike hair, teeth does not grow..and even those planted root and canal teeth dropped..ordinary dentures broke..and so I told my wife that I had had enough of those dental appointments..just prepare me soft, chewable meals..soups and stuff that does not need too much munching..and  I will get by..

..I quit smoking..for they say that smoking made parchments of your skins..and my scent of smell improves greatly after that..ahh..that fresh, sweet breath of a granddaughter's kiss..'salam, papatok..'

..than Chuan, the goldsmith told me that, in all probability, I had andropause..I had all the symptoms, he said..hot flushes..irritability..mood swings..always grumpy..which, of course, was not in anyway helpful..I was at an all time low...at the pits..

..but friends and a prayer saved me.. from plunging into a bottomless abyss..the friends were fellow bloggers and Chuan, the goldsmith, together they  poked and nudged me on...the prayer was at 3 o'clock in the morning, where I lay myself bare before Him..

..Lord, there is none Greater than Thou..You gave me longevity that I may reflect...and momentary youth that I may see the sun..

..let me now see the stars...




20 comments:

lili said...

Salam Pakmat,

Reading this makes me ponder how remarkable of you perfecting the imperfects...

"..Lord, there is none Greater than Thou..You gave me longevity that I may reflect...and momentary youth that I may see the sun.."
...pakmat, saya sambut dengan, Amiin.

Nur said...

salam Pak Mat
sounds like u so nakal.. *wink*
anwyays nur always pray for Pak Mat.. Keep smilg and enjoyed ur day..

p.s..
Pak Mat kalau nakal2 lagi nampak muda.. =)

NanaDJ said...

Pak Mat,
Age is just a number. Live life to the fullest, do our duties to Allah. Since each day is a bonus (we are living on injury time, isn't it?), we should enjoy the sunshine, be grateful for the rain and bear the ocassional thunder and lightening.
Having said that, we don't have to look old just because our age say so...And we may be retired but we are definitely not retarded.
Salaam

YuinTing Chin said...

Hi Pak Mat, my mom who's 69 once told me she could still remember clearly that many many years ago a hairdresser called her "AUNTIE" for the FIRST TIME in her life (I remember my "first time" too...). She was sad and quite reluctant to accept that title. But many years later, when her friend's grandson called her "PO PO" (grandma) for the FIRST TIME, she felt very happy and being respected.
I love to read your blog not only because of your eloquent writing, but also because of your frankness in sharing your wonderful life experience. I may not be so interested to read if you're younger, ha! ha!

mekyam said...

this is sublime, pakmat!

the stars btw, i'm sure they've been smiling at you. :D

Cat-in-Sydney said...

PakMat dear,
The sun, moon and stars are always there...if only we care to look for them. I celebrate every birthday because to me it's not a sign of ageing or becoming older, but becoming wiser...I hope.
Whoa! The cat is getting too philosophical today. purrr...meow!

sot said...

Let see the moon, as moon has phases. Life has phases too. Have a nice day Pak Mat.

Justiffa said...

Salam pakmat.. theres just no stopping the tide now is there ;D so might as well go with the flow and hope that God in all his grace & mercy will not leave us floundering :D

Waaa pakmat botak pun bagus jugak.. just look at bruce willis heheh ;p

pakmat said...

..why, thank you, lili..I like that, perfecting the imperfect..thanks..may God bless you, too..

..tak boiih nakal-nakal lagi, nur..nanti dikata makin tua makin menjadi..:)

nanaDj..living on subsidised time..but as you said, retired but not retarded..and I couldn't help looking old, lady..did not you see the silver crown I'm wearing..?..:)

Hi, YTC..and I don't mind being called PoPo..but my children taught their children to call me papatok..and that's nice,too..and I tried to be honest..with myself, my children..and my friends..at my age, I thought I have nothing left..except honesty..and by wrsiting about it, perhaps I can lay to rest some of my demons..thank you for popping it, YTC..keep up with that painting..

..God created a trillion stars.as a testament and affirmation of his Greatness..be they smiling, than I thanked Him, mekyam..for they smile not just upon me, but upon you and upon all of us..

..ahh, my dear cat..for cats are always philosophical..careful, might call you Aristotle, the cat..cheers..

pakmat said...

salam sot..Gods examples everywhere, sot..if we care to see..thanks..

I am going with the flow, Justi..but botak? no..not yet..not ready yet to be a walking dome..:)

Anonymous said...

the thought of growing old in the west is horrifying for me....
so please send some good dua through the air for me in your night prayers.... am in the bottom of the pit as well now...

Anonymous said...

Salam PakMat
Just like YTC I won't be interested in following your blog if you are younger.I enjoy your wisdom and wit and your subtle way in reminding us of the Almighty.Your entries never fail to make me smile and feel how great life is...to make the best of everything...somehow getting old now is not so scary.
The sun has never gone out of your life,Pakmat!

Aini

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Pakmat, you are not old unless you think you are.
Its what in your heart that counts, ha ha.
Only last night when my wife and friends bought me a birthday dinner, they joked they can't imagine what I am today VS what I was long ago....

I told them, the day I stop admiring women, the day I cannot open bottles my wife ask me to open,
the day I cannot program my Apple to do certain operations..
The day when I take a bus and a SYT stands up offering me her seat.
The day I have to makan tu pill biru,......that is the day I am old, ha ha.

Incidentally I have been taking Bee Pollen tablets past 35 years, my wife too.
My wife is 63, looks 45.
Check it out Pakmat....it helps slow down aging.
Lots of Hollywood actors take it. Mohd Ali takes it.
As well I drink lots of Chinese green tea everyday.
Regret I still smoke, but only about 6 sticks a day.

But have never dyed myhair, ha ha, ada greys here and there.
You stay easy Pakmat, you are not old....yet.
Have fun, Lee.

rizal hashim said...

Whenever I'm on an ego trip, PakMat will drag me back to earth!

oh PakMat, I find it hard to wake up middle of the night for solat tahajjud...

what else do you need PakMat, you like Tan Sri Lee, have lived life to the fullest...

now what you can do is to have the bald but beautiful look...i have done it many times..

hahaha

Salam

LC

anneaziz said...

Salam Pakmat,

1) red convertible would be nice to have
2) nip and tuck would take away the years
3) dyed hair turns your hair black
4) bald head would make you sexy (hey! look at telly savalas, bruce willis )
5) marrying a young one would be another trophy up your shelf
6)a good dental job would make munching food easier, breath smelling listerine-fresh, kissing more acceptable and whistling at syt possible

Whoa...long wish list! But I'm glad that it's friends and prayer that saved you! Luckily Chuan the goldsmith did not suggest a gold tooth.

I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue. ~Author Unknown

To finish off my ranting: hope it puts a smile on the andropausal male:

I wish I was a glow worm,
A glow worm's never glum.
'Cos how can you be grumpy
When the sun shines out your bum!

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Selamat petang Pak Mat,
So it’s true what Paul McCartney says;

When I’m 64

Tommy ni sudah gone case, sold my soul like Dorian Gray :( but abit :)

Go slower Pak, don't age too fast!!!

pakmat said...

..dear anon 22:55..life is never as bad as it seems..not even aging..:)for it is just a natural process..important thing is we keep our wits around us..take care of our health..if we must cry..then cry a little..even old coots like me enjoy a good cry sometimes..in private, of course..and as Uncle Lee is fond of saying..always keep a smile in your heart..and pakmat will dua for you..:)

pakmat said...

..thank you guys, your kind words and jests make this coot smiled a little, cried a tear, and guffawed a lot..life is good,yes..and I shouldn't let missing munching kacang putih let me down..for I can have my London without the Almonds..:)..

aini, pakmat not scared of aging..but reading of oldsters being left on the wayside is scary..

I hve never stopped admiring women, Uncle Lee..I guess I never will..thank you for the advice..I am a little into herbal therapy myself..but not Tongkat Ali as yet..:) you take care, lee..for ours is a dying species..

lc..I know you were on a ego trip..travelling on a private jet and inches away from the World Cup..in Jakarta some more..and all those accompanying babes and prop girls..makes this oldster reached for his toupee and dentures..but being old and bald?..sheesh..no..a shining dome above a flagging body?


anne, long before Bruce Willis and Savalas, there was Yul Brynner..and he was the most macho of all actors that had ever graced the silver screen..even aunties and grandmas drooled..but I cannot be grumpy, anne, for the sun shone from my bum..:)

its ok tommy, feeling old is optional..now lets see if I can convinced my sagging skin that..:)

cheers..

Gayah Gebu said...

simply beautiful..

owh, pardon my rudeness.

salam. hopped to yours from snakebt.

pakmat said...

..salam gayah gebu..you r welcome..anytime..:)