..every one falls in love, one time or another..and pakmat had his share of falling in love..for it is so easy to do so..as a fresh-faced sapling in the big city of KLumpur in the 60's, I fell in love with every pretty face that cared to smile my way..taking a special place was that Chinese girl who stayed on the second floor of the apartment that pakmat shared with five other bachelors, all of whom were from Negeri Sembilan..her name was Mary and the song was 'Ginny Comes Lately" by Brian Hyland and the guitar was an old kapok acoustic guitar that pakmat bought for RM15.00 from a friend..and many an evening was spent serenading her as glimpses of her was seen on her balcony..'Mary comes lately..' ..yes, I was innovative since young..
..later in Kota Bharu, a dance hostess who could do the cha-cha-cha well, was pakmat's point of interest..for I could not helped but be charmed by the daintiness of her dance, but a jealous boyfriend with a sword put an end to it one fateful night and pakmat did not dance the cha-cha-cha for quite a number of months after that..as the other hostesses could not do it as well as she did..which was all very well, as a few months after that Pakmat got married, and said goodbye to my wayward ways...
..but life has a way of taking its on course..like some flotsam in a fast flowing river, I found myself sucked into a whirlpool and the strong current simply dragged me along..you wanted to drag yourself up the banks, but somehow, you could not..in the end, you just go with the flow..with arms akimbo..
..after several marriages and many children later, I can safely say now that I can looked love in the eye and thumbed my nose at it..having tasted its falseness, but enjoyed its fleetingness..suffered its heat..shrivel at its cold..for 'love fire heats water, but water cools not love' contented Shakespeare..and did he not say that 'journeys end in lovers meeting'?
..for Pakmat it is a long journey..
..a journey that led me to this final love of my life..the greatest and ultimate love..that transcends time and space..yet it sears through my body like a thousand fires..and like an ill-prepared suitor, I kneel in despair..how puny that I am..the foulness of my breath..and the decay in my flesh..the pus in my blood..
..and I bow my head..
..I love Thee with all my heart and soul..show me, Lord, what my soul seeketh..take my hand...and lead me on this path..to my journeys' end..where lovers meet..