Saturday, 16 January 2010

..the greatest love of all...

..every one falls in love, one time or another..and pakmat had his share of falling in love..for it is so easy to do so..as a fresh-faced sapling in the big city of KLumpur in the 60's, I fell in love with every pretty face that  cared to smile my way..taking a special place was that Chinese girl who stayed on the second floor of the apartment that pakmat shared with five other bachelors, all of whom were from Negeri Sembilan..her name was Mary and the song was 'Ginny Comes Lately" by Brian Hyland and the guitar was an old kapok acoustic guitar that pakmat bought for RM15.00 from a friend..and many an evening was spent serenading her as glimpses of her was seen on her balcony..'Mary comes lately..' ..yes, I was innovative since young..

..later in Kota Bharu, a dance hostess who could do the cha-cha-cha  well, was pakmat's point of interest..for I could not helped but be charmed by the daintiness of her dance, but a jealous boyfriend with a sword put an end to it one fateful night and pakmat did not dance the cha-cha-cha for quite a number of months after that..as the other hostesses could not do it as well as she did..which was all very well, as a few months after that Pakmat  got married, and said goodbye to my wayward ways...

..but life has a way of taking its on course..like some flotsam in a fast flowing river, I found myself sucked into a whirlpool and the strong current simply dragged me along..you wanted to drag yourself up the banks, but somehow, you could not..in the end, you just go with the flow..with arms akimbo..

..after several marriages and many children later,  I can safely say now that I can looked love in the eye and thumbed my nose at it..having tasted its falseness, but enjoyed its fleetingness..suffered its heat..shrivel at its cold..for 'love fire heats water, but water cools not love'  contented Shakespeare..and did he not say that  'journeys end in lovers meeting'?

..for Pakmat it is a long journey..

..a journey that led me to this final love of my life..the greatest and ultimate love..that transcends time and space..yet it sears through my body like a thousand fires..and  like an ill-prepared suitor, I kneel in despair..how puny that I am..the foulness of my breath..and the decay in my flesh..the pus in my blood..

..and I bow my head..

..I love Thee with all my heart and soul..show me, Lord, what my soul seeketh..take my hand...and lead me on this path..to my journeys' end..where lovers meet..

13 comments:

hazeleyed lady said...

Ass Salam Pakmat
...your needs has been met,desire fulfilled...thus ...grief you shall not, everything is for a reason.
Have a nice weekend Pakmat.

anneaziz said...

Salam Pakmat,

A poignant entry as always. Never fail to make me ponder on my own life.

Baik dan buruk adalah perencanaan dari Allah Maha Pencipta. Sebab tu syurga adalah Rahim Allah, kerana amal ibadat kita tidak dapat membalas nikmat mata sekalipun! Cuma kita makhluk tidak pandai bersyukur dan menilai! Bersyukur lah kalau kita diberi kesempatan tersedar dari lamunan.

We can only pray that we be guided to righteousness and that we end it all in Husnul Khatimah.

InsyaAllah pakmat, jangan putus asa dari belas kasihan dan rahmat Allah. Agi idup agi ngelaban!

Maaf kalau saya yang setahun jagung kelihatan ingin berkhutbah ye?

pakmat said...

..thank you hazel and anne..selagi idup agi ngelaban..may both of you forever be blessed..

pakmat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cat-in-Sydney said...

PakMat dear,
Very well said indeed. You sound contented too. purrr...meow!

lili said...

Dear Pakmat,

What a journey you've traveled! May the final destination will lead us to the purest love of all - The Ar-Rahim...

Like Anne, I too ponder upon my own life. Sometimes it is sad to be sharing our lives with someone that we know we only love but never in love... ;)

anneaziz said...

Salam pakmat,

Nak mencelah sikit....

Ateh,

Komen heavy tu! (yang last part tu!)

lili said...

Sorry pakmat... saya pun nak mencelah!

Anne, betul ke heavy? Should I take it back? Hehehe! :D

pakmat said...

tumpang lalu, ladies..sometimes words failed to paint the true picture that we see in our hearts..and written words had a way of not sounding the way we wanted it or if we were to say it out loud..therein likes the strength and weakness..for it is in the reader's to make out its nuances and quirks...giving the words the beauty that could only be found in our minds..to say we only love but never in love is like saying its snowing but not freezing..causing, perhaps, a raise of eyebrows at the contradiction..pardon my attempt at critical analysis..but whatever it is I am sure it was not meant to be as we thought, at first glance, it was..and, of course, pakmat could ne wrong..cheers

bangkai said...

As a friend once commented, "Love is the anesthetic that renders us temporarily numb so that we may procreate properly."

Even so, he still falls in love at least twice a day ;-)

pakmat said...

.ah..mr.mbangkai..you are, indeed, a man of all seasons..an appropriate quote, if ever there is one..but here in Bachok, ether is used to prolong the procreation process..

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

Your honesty is really wonderful. So glad I found your blog.

pakmat said...

..thank you, esg..and I am glad..for I found you, too..:)