Thursday, 22 April 2010

..65 and none the wiser..

..being old does not neccessarily make you wise..experience  makes you prudent, yes, but not wiser.. matters of the heart will render most men foolish..as I was, when I was in my early fifties..foolish and
shortedsighted..but then, I had always been foolish and impulsive in heart matters..


..I was fifty-two when I married my third wife..and she was a year past half my age..I already had a dozen children then..separated from my first, living with my second in Bachok with five of my children.... yes, I should have known better..it was so unneccessary..but it was my last attempt at holding onto my youth..at fifty I was still unable to rein in my heart...and I know that a man of fifty unable to rein in a buckling heart is not worth his spurs..looking at pictures of that very much publicised marriage of a starlet, I supposed that was how I looked at that time..ridiculous, even though, then, I, too, was grinning..


..but we started as friends, she and I..a friendship that began among the hills, brooks and creeks..rivers, rapid and rafts.. I would like to  think that we ended also as friends..distance separated us..and tiredness..at 60 you could not anymore do things with the same vim and vigour..something has got to give..you could not anymore drove non-stop to KL alone, braving the sun and the pelting rain..no matter how warmth the welcoming embrace..


..and so I said no..no more..I need to wind-up whatever was left of my assets and simply closed shop..I did what any tired old man would have done, under the circumstances...I hung up my spurs...

2 comments:

hazeleyed lady said...

ass-salam pakmat
...prudish is what you wanna be...prudent is what you should be...
InsyAllah you'll be okay...
Take care

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

Reading this helped me understand why someone in my family went down almost the same road as you. 3rd marriage for him is with someone 20 years younger than he is. I hope they make it.