..at tail's end of life...sipping it slowly..feeling the grass under my feet...rain dripping down cheeks..
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
..a man of words..
..being always physically active, the body is relatively fit..for a 64year old, that is...the steps are still firm, but the spring is gone...the trick now is to keep the mind active...
..with that objective in mind, I offered my services to friends...since I am a man of words, I am now trying to be a man of deeds..after all, "a man of words and not of deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.."
..I prepare letters for friends having bureaucratic problems..I check accounts and made financial reports..look for houses someone wants to rent...offer advice and do errants..fill up forms...facebook and blog..
..and I read, voraciously..anything...from all the papers..Kosmos,(yes)..the Star...to whatever magazine that I can get my hands on..and blogs, whatever the genre..Rocky Bru and A Kadir Jasin are favorites...not so much for the articles posted, but more for the comments that followed..and, yes, I am a fan of Warrior 231...
..and with God, I try to keep to a schedule..solat berjumaah as far as possible, no matter where I am...read a few lines from the Quran every day...I try hard not to mourn the past..or reflect too much on the future..I thanked Him for each day that He giveth..asking for strength that whatever I have to do today, I will do it in earnest..and with honesty...
..and if, along the way, I get a few cents, then it is a bonus..
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
..orang pantai..

..it is the norm in Bachok to call the people who lived along the fringes of the beach as Beach People - orang pantai...being mainly fishermen theirs was a hard life, then..
..not too long ago their houses lacked toilet facilities..no, it cannot then be called houses...for huts is more like it...made of planks and atap roofs from coconut leaves...
....not having toilets, all toiletry activities are carried out on the the beach, for, indeed the whole beach is their toilets..normally done in the wee hours of the morning before the sun comes up...or after dusk...seeking safety from the halflight...the resulting puddle is left to the waves to pull it back to the sea...
...those days, if families wanted to spend a quite evening by sea, they would normally select beaches away from settled area...thus avoiding flotsam and stepping unwittingly on puddles...
...but things have improved greatly since...we have access roads built right up to the beaches..houses without bathrooms are no more..and children no longer have to rush to the beach whenever something they ate disagree with them...
..and for me, I can go to any part of the beach without fear...
..
Sunday, 9 August 2009
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
..a bit political...
..but this time I just have to say something that touches on politics...not that I have anything against it..knowing its necessity... but it is the politicians and their antics that I cannot stand..
..but first let me set the premise straight...
..having served the Federal Government for almost 30 years in various capacities, being a Muslim Malay, I leaned a little towards Barisan..but having served 15 of those years in Kelantan, I can lived with PAS...but lately I am disappointed with both..with PAS especially...and I have no illusions with PKR, knowing and remembering its history...and DAP is just a Chinese version of PAS...
..most Kelantanese have nothing against UMNO as a party..but for as long as UMNO carries with it an image of an elitist party and the people in it are in it for the money.. for the projects.., I don't think there will be a day when Barisan can take over the state government...we are tired of old faces and their flashy cars and big bungalows...no matter how much PAS goofed and bungled...the people had grown accustomed to PAS...their low-keyed and low profile approach appealed to the simple village folks...Dato' Awang Adek has shown that it can be done...
...and why must Barisan wait for a by-election before coming in force with the goodies..? they are not winning elections that way...how many more elections does it take before they learned that Kelantanese are not taken in by pre-elections goodies and promises..? instead, why not identify an opposition strong-hold and adopt it as an UMNO area..? take care of it..nurture it..identify what is lacking.. bring in the basic projects...be with the people..in the truest sense..slogans don't win elections in Kelantan.
..take Bachok...a few days before PRU12, TPM came with 500k for the district mosque...a bit late...he should have come 2 years earlier with the money...that day he should be there just for the Friday prayers..and lunch with the raayat..the message would not have been lost..
..respect for the elders is paramount for Kelantanese..TGNA is old..so, leave him alone..confronting him directly will not win votes...if we have to differ with what he says..then, do it indirectly...
..but, then, oh well...as I said, I don't like politics...
..
Friday, 31 July 2009
..youth of today...
..with the advent of transistor radios in the late fifties and early sixties, that is about the only source of music for this oldster then...enjoying the Beatles and Cliff Richard through tape recorders that uses miles of tape and through the radio with two inch speakers..and records, of course..those kind in 78, 45 or 33 rpm..gadgets that came complete with record players were in the in thing back then...called radiogram, names like Grundig and Telefunken came to mind...with National from Japan competing...
..with no cellphones, messages to mon cherie de amour were sent surreptitiously.. by hand or snailmail...ages before they were received...
...these days its Friendsters...Facebook...when before it was autograph books..circulated before year end holidays...and returned to the owner filled with 'FRANCE'..friendship remains and never can end..with a hidden ITALY among the pages...I trust and love you...
..when tv came in the middle sixties, things took a turn for the better...then it was Shindig and Startrek...savoured in glorious black and white...
..but things were simple then, uncomplicated...
..a song for all the young ones out there..enjoy your youth whilst you can...
..
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
..to Yasmin...
.. we moved in different worlds...but her words, her messages I received clear and loud...words and messages that I would like to leave to my children and grandchildren..that we worship this One God, Who is most Compassionate and Loving..that we are created different that we may know each other and love each other..that through Him we seek guidance and bounty...
..she taught us to laugh at ourselves and accept our idiosyncrasies....and that there are no borders to loving each other..but, above all, she taught us to be humble...and for all that and more, friend, I am forever grateful..
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
..a little peeved...
...and I really do not mind the misconstruing part..sometimes the best of intentions get misread..and , hey, we are all humans...we make mistakes...and this old coot has stalked this little corner of planet earth long enough to know that no matter how intelligent someone is..how high and complete the paper qualifications.. it all will come to naught if we cannot accept in all humility, that humans are frail creatures...it will all comes to naught if we do not have a little bit of grace in the heart and a little bit of magninamousity in attitude to accept apologies when given...that made me sad...
..for, indeed, we are all players on a temporal stage..leaving insignificant footprints that shake not the mountains...and dry not the sea..
Thursday, 23 July 2009
..wistful thoughts..
...but upon being told that he helped in the kitchen at a restaurant where you had your meals in between studies and he was lil bit younger than you, I thought you had to draw the line somewhere..but even then, I kept my peace...puppy and transitory, I thought..
...every time we met at your mother's house, I tried to joke you out of it..but you were steadfast in your love for him..even as I warned you that it will be a rough ride ahead..what with both of you jobless..not that I was really worried about you..with your degree, and passable command of English, some firm will take you in..but him?..no basic qualifications to show and with a social visit pass to boot?
..he can get a job here in Kota Bharu as a cook...and I can get a job anywhere..for I will and must marry him, pa, you said...your voice soft, your doe eyes pleading..'and we can stay here..' Here meaning the house that I had left..I glanced at her mother, who would welcomed him... her silence was consent...but a PATI as a son-in-law?..I did not even know where he was from...from the restive south, you said..hmm..a refugee seeking shelter from your generous heart...
...I did not mind him being a cook...he might even make it into the Asian Food Channel..but both of you were too young...and him younger....and he was definitely not in a position to support a wife..looking at him, I did not think he was even in a position to have a girlfriend...this part man part boy stood in front of me...and I sat there with my mind racing..why is it that you keep seeing reflections of your youth in your children?...
..now, three years later, two precious and precocious grandchildren later, you tell me that it is a mistake...your marriage is falling apart... he is out of job...you do not love him anymore...he is not what you thought he is...you want out...
..no, girl, it is not that easy..yes, marriage is a gamble..but you do not gamble the lives of your children by divorcing his father...not when the girl is only a few years old and the boy babystepping...
... there is not a man born yet who can satisfy the needs and requirements of a woman..none..there will be defects..shortcomings..you just have to learn to live with it..take the rough with the smooth...
..you are chickening out, girl...jumping ship at the first sign of a storm...and you have a passenger of two...and this oldster of a grandfather is putting off meeting you...hoping somehow this aberration will disappear..
..ahh..it was only yesterday that I picked you up and duh duh you to sleep and you holding tight onto the pacifier....
Sunday, 19 July 2009
..an eulogy..
.. a distant relative by marriage died the other day.. he was 53 years old.. I hardly knew him when he was alive..we moved in different circles, as it were..but as is the norm in the kampong, we visited his grieving widow and his nine children..
it was a ramshackle of a home.. rickety and bare of items normally found in most homes..just an old tv set.. a mat on the floor. .a room without a door.. and not much else..
…later I was to learn that he was a daily rated construction worker… died of a fall whilst working on the forth floor of a building.
Mak Nik, the widow, was a full time housewife. ..with nine children,. I cannot imagine her doing anything else.. leaving the burden of bringing home the money to Pak Nik..but when she has the time, she will be packing charcoals into plastic sacks in a kiln nearby owned by her brother-in-law..earning 50 cents a sack..
… come tobacco-growing season, the whole family will be out on the field..hoeing out furrows, planting seedlings, nurturing the plants and finally harvesting..bringing much needed extra dollars…
..their eldest, a son, and still single, graduated 5 years ago and is a lecturer at one of the local university.. on a piece of ancestral land, he is building a modest home not far from the existing house..with 7 other siblings in school, marriage has been postponed..
..their second child, also a son, just graduated and is teaching somewhere..
….with two sons finishing universities and at the threshold of their respective careers, things are looking up for Paknik and Maknik…all those sacrifices, toils, and sheer hard work has borne fruits..that none of his children dropped out of school is a testimony of Paknik as a father, and Maknik as a mother…their children must be very proud of them..
..but he is dead now..no doubt his wife and children will missed him..the eldest will take over the mantle..life goes on regardless..tears hidden..gathering strength from each other..
..and so, to Paknik, Al-Fatihah..may you be in a special Garden bestowed by Him..and your face shined like a thousand suns as He says Salam…Peace..from your God Who is Most Loving..
..
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
..today's music..
..and one good music of my time is Matt Monroe's 'And the music played'.. the title is a bit bland by today's standard, but the song and delivery is beyond description..but, then, you be the judge..
Monday, 13 July 2009
Sunday, 12 July 2009
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
...singles in the city..
…as to be expected, their blogs are well-presented…witty and entertaining….I found them mostly to be a good read…humorous and frank..honest, even…
..as I read through their pathos and ethos..hopes and despairs..I cannot help but feel for them…it must have been hard…to be single in the city…doubting the smiles of friends and collegues..for it could very well be snide remarks and sniggers behind their back..innocent queries hurt..attempts to matchmake are like slivers of glass to the heart…a reproach to their self-esteem..
… but through it all, somehow, they managed to retain their sanity..managed to see the humour in every incidents..juggling at their career, and, of course, competing with men..and, at the same time, trying to see through them...city-slickers of the male species are masters at subterfuge..
…having once a daughter who decided to forge it out on her own in the big city some years ago, I truly feel for them…
…and so, to all those single gals out there, to borrow a phrase from a cyber friend, get your blades out…
Sunday, 5 July 2009
..just thinking..
...what set me thinking was a comment by a facebook friend on the state of football in the country..he said it is atributable to the general decay of society as a whole...as I mulled over his comment, I realised that he has it spot on..ours is a degenerative society...I mean, look around you...read the papers..the state of our politics..the name-calling..religious decrees are issued at a drop of a hat..people are more divided than ever before..no thanks to the politicians, whose political interest overides all...the state of our social morals..old geezer died whilst with a transvestite...infants borned in toilets and drowned in pails...pornograhic clips in every kids handphones..rempit...the list is endless..and they are all symptoms of a decaying society..
..the rot has started at the hands, feet and mouths..we have to stem it..now..before we incur the wrath of Him up there...and He might just punished us for it..looking at the state of things, maybe He has, already...
Monday, 22 June 2009
..PCB and everything Kelantanese...
...which, like the single-sex counters in supermarkets, is an exercise in futility, for locals continued to call it by its acronym, PCB, meaning Pantai Cinta Berahi...not PCB, Pantai Cahaya Bulan..
..but to the older generations like me, it is Pantai Semut Api, its original name..the Beach of Fire Ants, until sometimes in 1950 when it was renamed Pantai Cinta Berahi...and quickly translated into the Beach of Passionate Love, taking the standard meaning of the word Berahi as Passionate...more with attracting the tourist in mind, I think...
...I had a feeling that the gentleman who gave the beach its famous tag is a true-blue Kelantanese with a wicked sense of humour, or someone who had mastered the Kelantanese dialect, knows its people, the traits and customs and was taking a dig...he must have had a devilish smile on when his proposal was approved...
Thursday, 18 June 2009
..Bachok...tourist Islamic town..?
..along the way there was this billboard proclaiming 'Bachok..bandar pelancungan Islam 2010..' it caught my eye as I drove past..not that I have not seen it before..I passed by it everyday on my way to Bachok from home and home is only 4 kms away from Pantai Irama..Islamic Tourist Town?..that was the promise during PRU12th..hmmm..I thought the slogan is at best ambiguous...at worst..well..it is a political slogan... Bachok is as islamic as any other town in Kelantan..and tourists that made Bachok a pitstop for cigarettes and ATM withdrawals hardly gave us a glance, their destination being Perhentian Islands..
..but we do have two banks...CIMB and Maybank..and the district mosque, which is being renovated with funds donated by the then TPM..he came a few days before PRU12..on a Friday..after Friday prayers and after a short speech, he handed the cheque to the Imam...I remember sitting in the back row of the mosque and thinking that the timing was all wrong...he should have handed the money very much earlier...then work would have started and completed earlier and his presence that day was to officialise the newly completed wing...the effect would have been better...as it was, it looked like a sweetener...fodder for the opposition...but the lunch that followed was sumptious...
..the two banks with Pasar Malam on Friday evenings and Pasar Tani on Saturday mornings helped kept Bachok alive..well, to a certain extent..they are popular with the locals and non-locals alike, with some coming from as far as Kuala Krai, the district where Manek Urai is...these two pasars are held by the beach on a piece of Police Reserve land..once, in the 80's, the Balai Police Bachok was there...with a row of Class G quarters..wooden buildings that could hardly withstood the onslaught of the monsoon gale..the lot of the rank and file, then...a salary of RM240.00 per month and quarters with a single room...efforts started by Tun Haniff made them very comfortable, indeed, by any standard...
..the administrative cluster, the Land and District Office, the Fire Department, along with Public Works Department and the Registration Department, is at Kg. Kemudi, about 2 kms from Bachok, the town....there is no District Hospital yet, though plans for it were submitted decades earlier under the Malaysian Plan...but nothing has materialised yet..
..roads in Bachok are unnamed...there are no roads named after Dato Awang Adek, or Jalan Nashamuddin Mat Isa, or Jalan Tuan Guru, for that matter...so, addresses are by Lot Numbers, Kampongs and geographic positions...and imaginations of the sender....'Lot 166, Kg. Kemudi, Depan Pejabat Tanah, 16300 Bachok', as an example...
..I thought it ironic that Bachok, Thai for Ban, kampong, Chak, nipah, has a population of 120,000, by the last count in 2005...almost the same as the population of Orang Asli in the country...and the Orang Asli are better allocated than us...so we shall always be associated with tobacco plantations...the only activity that brings with it immediate economic relief...but now that Tuan Guru has likened smokers to cows, tobacco growing is slowing down...with no feasible alternative in sight...
..Pantai Irama has improved...concrete blocks now lined the shore...holding in check wave erosion...a life-guard tower, manned 24 hours by men from the Civil Defence, was erected..hopefully to check the cases of death by drowning that occurred almost every year during the monsoon season...for the retailers of fried seafood and stuff, concrete structures with proper shelters were provided...there is no more the shanty town atmosphere of old..with the beach generally clean, the pace relaxed and slow, with the district mosque improved...teachings from the Holy Quran almost every night after Magrib...night prayers twice a month, Bachok is heaven and a haven for retirees like me....
Friday, 12 June 2009
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Monday, 8 June 2009
..cats and stuff..
..a few months later, the tabby, rediculously named Ayam, got pregnant whilst the tom, Itek, got into various cat fights in the neighbourhood, fighting for supremacy and territory..disappearing in the morning after a hearty breakfast of rice mixed with boiled fish and cat food...slouching and limping home in the evenings, scratched, torned and wounded, to be attended and repaired by my daughter and her mother...many a times I sat from a distance, watching them washed away the grime..applying iodine on the cuts..and marveled at how Itek meekly surrendered his wounds to both of them...
Saturday, 6 June 2009
..blog on..
...it doesn't matter if nobody reads it..it may be lost in oblivion..or it may be read by anonymous readers..perhaps with a smirk..but you don't really care..it is your own private space in cyber world..a mark..a station in cyber land.. where your little idiosyncrasies and your innermost thoughts are revealed to all and sundry..with nary a care..
Friday, 5 June 2009
..my son, remp-it..
Thursday, 28 May 2009
..polygamy, anyone...
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
..selfbaked man...
..sitting by the verandah, enjoying a piece of self-baked apple-pie..watching the cats romped... a little bit lost in reverie...trying to ignore the news on Bernama TV..looks like another day of suing and contersuing...ah..the ever restless sea..there will be no winners, only losers..and for Bachok, life goes on.. measured and dictated by the seasons of tobacco growing..often punished by a few days of relentless rain..stunting the plants and shrivelling the leaves...bringing unseen tears to strong hearts.. used to toiling under the merciless sun...pumping water and hope from underground springs...but they chuckled over it
Saturday, 16 May 2009
..oh, perak..
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
..a matter of language..
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
.. a daughter in London, England...
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
,,on birthdays and birth certificate...

..in truth I do not know when I was born...the exact date or the exact year..being a posthumous child, my late mother's priority was never to register me on giving birth to me...and in those times, the middle 1940's, I don't think she knew the mechanics of how to...so, I was never one who celebrates birthdays...and when later when I was about six or seven, she took me to her younger brother for him to keep, I was more intrigue by the black telephone sitting ominously on the table, than to the handing over ceremony...
Monday, 4 May 2009
..those amazing bloggers....
Friday, 1 May 2009
..swine, but not so fine, flu...
..but swine flu sounds a bit sinister, dont you think?
Monday, 20 April 2009
..cataract for the elderly..
..i had gloucoma...
