Sunday, 18 July 2010

..I missed my children..

..sometimes unfathomable feelings pervaded this old coot..like this evening when I accompanied the missus to Mydin Hypermarket, Kubang Kerian..she was looking for hooks and materials for her curtains,  I was looking for something to eat..as I settled myself with a plate of nasi kandar and teh tarik, resigning myself to a long wait,  a litle girl, barely four, caught my attention..she was playing catch-me-if-you-can with her elder brother, barely six..oblivious to the crowd, she was laughing and running..

..she reminded me of my first daughter..no, she reminded me of those times when I had children her age..it was then that I realised..I missed my children..I missed them when they were children..

..I missed those growing up times of theirs..when they were too young to know between what was right and what was wrong, and yet, old enough to know and called me 'pa'..yes, I missed those lullaby times, and 'sh..sh..times when they cried..and I missed waking up nights to changed their napkins and made milk for them..I missed their complete trust in me..and their unwavering love for me..I missed those little hands clasping mine..

..maybe we can try for a baby, I said to the missus, as she joined me and broke my reverie..she laughed as she tried a spoonful of nasi kandar..'We can try for twins,' she said, straight-faced...at 65, even the wife does not take you seriously anymore..

18 comments:

Pak Zawi said...

Pak Mat,
People of our age will always yearn for those times that our children were the age of our current grandchildren. How we feel we didn't give them enough of everything especially love.
Who says at 65 yo you couldn't bear anymore children? All you need is a young wife if you insist on having more children.
As for me I will just enjoy the occasional few days with my grandchildren whenever we visited them or vice versa.

Wan Sharif said...

At your current age, who would think that you are still trying for a baby, when 90% of guys at that age are pining for grandchildren..
When she broke your reverie.. unless told she could not have guess.. so it is not the question of her not taking you seriously... it can be that you are not telling her what you have in your mind.. seriously
begitulah selalunya .. our previous priorities and actions , on a hindsight, might not always be for the best..
Come to think of it... I have known a man who have a newborn child at 103 years old, his wife was then just 30 years young..
Then again, are you seriously trying to change your priorities.. Cheers

pakmat said...

..don't give me ideas, Pak Zawi..they hardly gave me a cursory glance..just an old coot being whimsical..but it was worth a thought..hehehe..cheers..

..no, I was not serious. saudara Wan..and the missus knew what I meant..been married that long..she knows every nut and gears that creak in this ancient mind..but Pak Zawi ws right..I want to be a father to my children once again..

June Malik said...

hahah pakmat, cari peluang .. its different perspective, dah at mature age nak have baby? even i dont want, because most of the time, we the women yang end up with all the work for the baby lah !!

hazeleyed lady said...

whatever it is pakmat...hope that you are enjoying every seconds of your life...
Good day.

rizal hashim said...

i can understand you pakmat

Tommy Yewfigure said...

No Pak Mat, I had not reach your stage yet…hahaha, I’m still at this ‘time of your life’ phase where u got no commitments & responsibilities & be free to do whatever pleases u, i.e. within the law & ethically lah of course. Maybe when I’m 65, I would feel that way too, like what u r going thru’ now but I’m in no rush to get there yet :))


Cheers,
Tommy

P/S – I will not be surprise if u play your LAST ace up your sleeve…kekeke & why not?

pakmat said...

..it was just a whimsical thought, JunMalik..like you marathon, I do not have the strength to go through it..:)

..thank you, Hazel..and may you enjoy yours..:) take care..

..lc..that's why I mentioned once to you, that you should enjoy your children whilst they r growing..all too soon, you will find them all grown up and ready to leave the nest...

pakmat said...

..then, just be glad that you are not there yet, tommy..and what ace are u talking about?..I've used up all my aces..only the joker is left..and you and know that in this game, a joker is useless..:)so, enjoy your time, tommy..

Pat said...

I like your wife, Pak Mat. She is a keeper! Nothing beats a good lady with a keen sense of humour, I tell you!

Cheers from Port Dickson :)

pakmat said...

..thank you, Pat..I like her, too..but we are not alike..:)cheers..

Hani Ibrahim said...

Pak Mat...very sweet thoughts.....and I bet your missus understands u too well....:)

xplorer said...

salam pak mat , first time here. found your blog by accident.i have a daughter of 1 years old and yet sometimes i do feel the same way like you did . time fly at warp speed when you have a baby . i guess when i reach your age the same thought will come everytime i see small children. I concur with pak zawi , all you need is a young and willing young wife ( i guess pak zawi miss the word willing , ha ha ha).

pakmat said...

hi, Hani..yes, she understands me well..too well..:)..

hi, xplorer.....then treasure those times with her..relish it and make time for her..:) cheers..

Andi Natalia said...

:).. *smile* now, i miss my father.. :)

pakmat said...

..salam Andi..I missed him, too..my father that I never got to see..

Quiyah said...

LOL, my husband dont take me seriously too, and im only 27.

pakmat said...

salam Quiyah..welcome to my blog..you delved deep and I am honoured..and I like your hubby..he loves you very much..undoubtedly, he does..for it is this special feeling in a man that makes them not take their wife seriously..cheers..and take care..for soon you will be missing your children like I did..:)