Sunday, 13 June 2010

..you got mail..

..I received a letter yesterday that shook my fingers and sent me to my knees into a solat syukri....it also brought tears to my eyes..as I thanked Him for His little mercies..

..but allow me, being 'aged and senescent', to regress..

..a few decades ago...I was brash and confident..with legion of friends..assured with my job, savouring what little power that I had..I was that little Napoleon we talked about these days..

.. he came with a proposal..be a partner in his business venture..there was this project  that he landed..we'd share the profit..you sit back and I'll do all the work..I was reluctant, but he came again, whispering gains..or he would looked for someone else..and I agreed..and agreement I was to regret for the next twenty years of my life..

..yes, the project failed..there was a loan that he took that I was the guarantor..the bank manager was my scrabble kaki..and so it was that I was made a bankrupt..an insolvent wage earner..someone whose pecuniary position was causing serious embarrassment to the public service...suddenly I found that I could not renew my international passport..my right to travel was denied..I could not open accounts with any banks, own properties..cars or motorcycles..my account with Tabong Haji was frozen...I could not even be a Class F contractor..

..suddenly I was a person non-grata..I suffered, yes, but I learned to live with it..there was this hollowness in my heart but I made adjustments..I looked up to Him and accepted my fate..Lord..if this is payment for my sins..I accept it..for, indeed, I know not what You know...but there was no bitterness..just a feeling of being numb..for I took the turning with my eyes wide open..

..yesterday I received a letter of release from the Insolvency Department...releasing me of the shackles that bound my wings...copies of letters send by them to all the relevant agencies informing of the release...

..this morning I opened the door of my house to the golden rays of the sunrise..I felt its warmth on my cheeks..I took off my cap and let it danced and played with my gray and white hair..I ignored the damp in my eyes and the choking in my throat..I looked up to the translucent sky..I picked up Ayam brushing herself against my feet..I kissed her...

...God is Great...AllahuAkbar...............

33 comments:

hazeleyed lady said...

Syukur pakmat...Allah listens to your prayers...
Take care.

Zendra-Maria said...

God is Great.... Congratulations pakmat, you're a free man now :D

Wan Sharif said...

Thanks Allah you are freed now..
Alhamdulillah.. you may not realized it.. all the suffering will be duly rewarded..
The guy who did that to you.. if his original intention is to cheat you, he might think he was very smart to be able to con you, but he will be paying back to you on Mahsyar.. you will be very glad then to have been "cheated"..InsyALLAH.

YuinTing said...

Congratulations Pakmat.

Pat said...

I'm so happy for you, Pak Mat. Great news!

Know that what you did for your 'friend', you did with a good heart. That it all went south was no fault of yours. Though you had to 'pay' for your mistake. And what payment!

I feel your sadness, that was. And I feel your happiness that pervades you now.

Being 'released' is a good thing. But released or not, you can hold your head up high, and be proud of who you are. It is your 'friend' who seriously needs to examine his conscience.

Cheers!

Pak Zawi said...

Tatak,
Syukur Alhamdulillah. The release is timely for you to travel and perform your Haj which you have been planning to go a long time ago. Now I know why you haven't done it earlier. It is also time to visit that cucu on the other side of the world.

Justiffa said...

Saya tumpang gembira pakmat.. alhamdulillah, 1000 syukur.

HE tests us in ways that we can never fathom but bersangka baik lah, only HE knows best :)

Red Alfa said...

Salam Pak Mat

Drop by just to share your joy for being freed. This would be one sujud syukur you must perform and savor... knowing that now by Allah's grace you will not be denied the jannah by THAT merest of a technicality!

pakmat said...

..guys..the first thing I did today was to check my Tabong Haji acccount..'yes, pakcik, your account is active..please photostat your new ic..we'll update your details and issue you 'buku akaun baru'..half an hour later I walked out with a new accounts book, all details updated and an opening balance of RM2529.90 cents..dazzled by the midday sun, I smiled, remembering Icarus, whose wings melted for flying too near the sun..mine decayed before I could take flight..but its ok..it will gather strength..God willing...I walked across the street to where my wife had her mini hair salon..and gave her a peck on her cheek..'apa ni?'she asked..I showed her the book..'My first after so many years...'

hazel-eyed lady..
Zendra Maria..
..thank you..

Wan Sharif..
..no..I do not think there was intention to cheat..it was too much for him to handle..it was inexperience..it just went out of control..

Yuin Ting..
..thank you..

Pat..
..I did my time, Pat..and at my age, I revel at the possibilities..thank you for your kind thoughts..

Pak Zawi..
..yes..time for that haj..and time for that trip..have to see how it goes first..and try raise my first 10k..:)

Justi..
..I cannot put into words my feelings, justi..for once this old coot cannot express wht was in his heart..:) tapi, syukur...I supposed this is what Uncle Lee meant when he said 'that jalan atas ayer feeling'..

Red Alfa..
..thank you, Red..for your kind words..InsyaAllah...

rizal hashim said...

Salam Pakmat,

God is great, Pakmat! Harian Metro had a column Orang Jual Orang...I wrote several pieces based on the bad experience my late parents tasted...when their friends came over to plead for them to become guarantors...borrowed money...ah banyak pakmat...

Orang jual orang...and it is still prevalent.

I'm happy for you Pakmat, that you are able to smile...now for the next step....

Oldstock said...

Salam Pakmat,

Permit me to share your joy in being released from the shackle that has held you back all these years. I pray that you achieve that Haj trip none too soon.

You are a great example of someone who has never given up despite all the obstacles. Thank you for a being a blogger and sharing this with us.

pakmat said...

..wow, lc..you still have time to read my blog??..wht with South Korea and Japan winning against Eto..and England getting a deserved draw!..sheesh..that's enough to rock my plate..and, yes, lc..now for the next step..God willing..

thank you, oldstock..I should think tht by now there r no more bones in my cupboard..:)..yg kecik-kecik tu ada ler..but this was one burden that I carried with me for so many years..but I was never one secretive about myself..if ppl ask, I tell..:)sometimes even my wives chided me for being too open...cheers

June Malik said...

alhamdulillah !

Cat-in-Sydney said...

Abe Mat,
The cats from the Southern Hemisphere are glad to hear your news. Freedom comes late but still not too late. Now, after performing that Hajj, you can come visit us. har har har *good thoughts*

Andrea Wh@tever said...

Dear Pak Mat,

I am so happy for you. I hope that you will fulfill your Haj wish soon.

Snakebite said...

alhamdulillah........

pakmat said...

June Malik and Dato'
Snakebite..thank you..:)

CiS dear, I have a trip to
Adelaide waiting..my neighbour's daughter is a doctor there..lets see how it goes..but as you said, th haj first..InsyaAllah..

Andrea..yes, let's hope it will be soon..thank you..

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Hi Pakmat,

I’m happy for u too. Must be a good feeling to be free again. Remember that rock band ‘Free’, one of my favourite album was ‘Free At Last’ but I like to dedicate this old time fav to u;

All Right Now

Have a good one, I bet u r feeling much better that those Spanish footballers now…hahaha

Tommy

Tisa Fahmy said...

Haji Pak Mat soon to be?! I will work hard for the MONEY..ya..Insya Allah.

ozz said...

Dear Pak Mat,

All I can do is to dedicate this song to you :-

"YOU MAKE ME FEEL BRAND NEW" by Simply Red.

pakmat said...

salam Tommy..u know wht this World Cup taught me?..that you need not have a reputation as past winners, or big and overpaid stars to shine and do well..watching teams with no stars giving all those reputed teams a run for their money gives this old man a good feeling...it is a beautiful game they r having in Africa..the world is dancing with the ball at their feet..cept for Malaysia, of course..who was neversin for anything, anyway...so, yes..I felt happier than those Spaniards...

hi, kak...thanks..I sure need it..

hi, ozz..beautiful song, thanks

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Salam Pakmat, I'm watching Italy v New Zealand now & guess what NZ just taken the lead after 7 minutes. Wow look like all these upsets will continue...hmmmm but I don't think NZ is capable to hold on to it. I say so becoz I got vested interest lah. Oh no please nooooo....

Tommy

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Hahaha of all people, kiwi TOMMY Smith had to give away a penalty kick :))) I think the floodgate would open up for Italy now!

Rosfida Abu Sufi said...

Pak Mat,
Alhamdulillah. To have that piece of burden lifted off your shoulders and chest is extremely gratifying. I hope the same shall come to my sister's path. Insyaallah..

pakmat said...

..no, Tommy, no flood or gates..:) all those established football nations had better watch out..other unknowln countries are catching up..in skills and in flair..pretty they will be relegated to the backroom..startint with England..:)

Salam RAS..terlalu ramai orang macam saya, RAS..but, InsyaAllah, their time will come...cheers..

mamadou said...

Assalamualaikum Pak Mat

Alhamdulillah Pak Mat, saya terharu kerana saya merasai apa yang Pak Mat rasakan. Nama "blacklisted". Kemana bank yang ditanya, nama ada dalam senarai yang tak layak dapat pinjaman..........kerana membantu teman. Teman tetap begitu, malah tetap berkereta besar, bercerita besar.......

pakmat said...

salam mamadou..enjoying the world cup, .hey..and a referee from Mali..
memang teman tetap begiut..berkereta besar and rumah besar..:)

Nur said...

salam pak mat

wahhh... so happening here.. but 1st thing i should say "congrats pak mat u r free man"

2nd thing, duit tabung haji tu kalau tambah tiap2 bulan mesti penuhh?

3rd thing, nice layout n background... sweet je.. take care pak mat.. enjoyed ur day

mekyam said...

salam pakmat,

saya lama tak singgah sbb tak dlm talian. jenguk2, terus baca berita baik. syukur alhamdulillah! saya tumpang bahagia!

pakmat said...

..thank you nur...problem is I got lil sikit-sikit..:) but then again, God willing, who knows?

..salam mek yam..well, like they say..better late then never...tq for the jenguk..:) cheers

sot said...

Syukur pada Allah Pak Mat. Pak Mat telah melepasi ujian-Nya. Amiin.

Tumin said...

was trying to take my mind off my work and started to search more info of an intriguing character named "Tommy Yewfigure". Then, I stumbled into your blog and started to read few of your posts. I enjoyed them very much. Just want to congratulate you for your new freedom after so many years of perseverance - the fat lady has finally sung.

PS Tommy: If you are reading this, please don't get upset on me of checking you out. It just shows your presence has an impact on me ;)

pakmat said...

hi Tumin..yes, Tommy is one interesting character..you can get to him on fb..and he has an impact on everybody..esp. the gals..:)..thank you, the fat lady finally sang..hehehe..and wow, you r very much a somebody..perhaps its time to expand that kopi-kow..:)..cheers