Wednesday, 10 August 2011

..dreams and regrets..


..pakmat's home in Bachok..
...once, decades ago,  I used to dream of having a house set up on a hillock, among verdant trees, facing a lake..a wife with long flowing, hair... you know, Nancy Kwan was the dreamgirl then, resulting in many a young man having wet dreams....and a speed-boat...but I never thought of children, a four-wheel drive was in the picture...but never children...

..Nancy Kwan..pic googled..
 ..but children showed up after marriage...and when you were the marrying kind, like I once was,  you will have more of them...and I went on to sire 13...which is, of course, a sizeable number, by any account...when I first got married, and she got pregnant soon after, I thought maybe we will have two..or three..but definitely not seven...and I went on to have another six.....

..3rd daughter Ida's 3rd birthday..the one that flew the nest
and setup her own in a foreign land..

...but I met a woman in my kampong, in her fifties, who had 13 children... a villager who lived off the land with her villager husband...and I looked at her in awe and amazement as she chatted away about her children with the wife when I gave her a lift home one day from Balai Islam, Kota Bharu...it must have been hard, I thought..yes, she chirped, almost reading my thoughts..but it is not that we had them simultaneously...all were breastfed and the eldest among them helped...food was scarced but they grew whatever they need..planted padi and water was free..and most of them went on to complete their studies, entered institute of higher learning and became teachers and such...

..there were bad times and there were good times, although rare...but through it all she never lost faith...
in God's bounty...and in her husband...and together they scraped through each day...eat whatever they managed to put on the table and never dream of what was impossible for them to have...and pakmat was silenced into a quiet reverie...thinking of what might have been...


A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams...John Barrymore

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

as-salam pakmat,
am a new silent reader.like yr blog..gives me a certain perspective inyo life.tq
-alien

Anonymous said...

-into life.

hani@debumelukut said...

Frankly Pakmat,regrets has taken over the place of my dreams lately...Now I know I am old.

pakmat said...

..salam alien..then, welcome..to a blog of an old man rantings about life in Bachok..take care..

..frankly, hani, it is a natural process..so, relax...

Red Alfa said...

Salam Pak Mat

You did dream a lot more than I did that long time ago,for sure.

And you took on a LOT more since, that's for sure!

With the number of wives and children, you have, I would be the broken man but you are not.

Pat said...

John Barrymore makes a good point. Listen to him. Life is too short for regrets.

You have a beautiful home. And, I love the story of the 13-kid lady. She sounds like a dear.

Cinta said...

Sometimes it's the simple things in life that brings more happiness. We count our blessings and surround ourselves with family and friends that have been with us for so long. I learned that, over the years....

Ramadan al Mubarak to you Sir.

Ciknoni said...

Salam Pakmat, as always love to read your blog. How i wish i can write like you.

pakmat said...

..salam Red..I think it helps that over the years, I've developed a non-vindictive attitude towards my ex'es in particular and women in general..a sense of humor helps, of course..so, cheers, Red..take care..

..hi, Pat..home is where the heart is..but the romantic in me would rather have Oscar Wilde's... 'A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world...' anytime..so, you take care..

pakmat said...

..salam Cinta..my, it has been quite sometime, right..? ..and pakmat was caught unaware you posted on August 14th..a Craig lookalike?..see if there's any in Bachok..will let you know..anyway, glad that you are still lurking somewhere in cybersphere..here's wishing you a joyous Ramadan..take care..and jdbb..jaga diri baik-baik..

pakmat said...

..salam Ciknoni..but you can..all you have to do is put those dainty fingers to the keyboard..comeon, do it..I've seen your comments and repartees in fb.. cheers..

Tommy Yewfigure said...

hmmmm nice, 'Dreams & regrets' I think there r more dreamers like us in the past, before the age of high tech, internet & facebooks! Hope the new generation goes blind from staring at their screen all day long!!:))

rizal hashim said...

As salam, Pak Mat,

I envy you. Nice house, father of 13 wow...

mokjadeandell said...

You got 3 times + 1 the number of children I have.Wonder if you got the same amount of headaches,stomachaches ,backaches bringing them up.X3 + 1.

pakmat said...

hi, tommy..they have their dreams..we had ours..and they have the technology to realise their dreams..

..salam lc..nothing to be envious, lc..if you factor in the heartaches, headaches, stomachaches..and all the other aches...:) cheers, lc..take care..

salam mokjadendell..as I said, yes, there were all the aches that anyone would care to mention..along with some scratches and fang bites..but throught it all, you realised that's life after all..God has His ways...

Seorang Blogger said...

Salam ramadhan and happy belated birthday pakmat!!

Your home in bachok seems like my dream rumah to balik kampung to. tenang. Damai. Memanggil-manggil.

pakmat said...

salam Ramadan kepada Seorang Blogger..:) wherever is home, it is where the heart is..baiti jannati..
take care..jdbb..(silent read yr blog..no opportunity to comment..)

Tisa Fahmy said...

Papa...how come ada gambar Ida saje? What about me? and us? another 12? haiyaa..