..no,I did not marry my wives because they behave like whores..I think I married them because of my dislike for whores...not that I did not, as a youth in the big city of KL seek them out...I was just as curious as the next boy about sex..pornography in the sixties came in the form of little magazines surreptitiously passed around in brown office envelopes...sometimes, opportunities made us huddled together over an 8mm projector with a decaying concrete wall as a screen, in a room stifled by cigarette smokes..
...the learning process and maturing period for pakmat in the sixties was not always smooth..but KL then was a bit laidback..The Strollers held concerts at Stadium Negara and a neighbour's daughter, all of her 16 years old, was smitten with me...marriage was never in the equation..being not able to see beyond yesterday, if someone then were to tell me that I would one day be a polygamist, I would in all probability shrugged my shoulders in disbelief...
..but all that did not stop me from marrying my Audrey Hepburn on the 1st of April, 1973 and took another much younger wife 15 years later, 6 daughters and a son later...of course, that made me into a rogue, a cur, an ogre and a dragon...and most time, I would just stand there and say that I am guilty...I am all that...I was forty when I became a polygamist...and now, at 66, 3 marriages and 2 divorces, later, I like to think that it was polygamy that saved me...
..you see, I was never meant to be a one woman man...some men are just like that...even now, at 66, frail and rotting, I would again, but did not, not because for the lack of a willing mate, but because I am in a better position to control my actions...there are several truths, bitter or otherwise, we just have to accept...one, that to most men, sex is just a matter of getting an ejaculation...two, there will always be women who chose, voluntarily, to become whores and hookers, as there will always be women who would not mind sharing husbands, no matter what their religion is...and three, if we can be genderless for a moment, and view it from a world view, polygamy is all for women...not so much for men...(oh..oh..I can see the bricks and excrement being aimed at me..:)) but I will not elaborate on this..I am trying to keep religion out...
..bringing back pakmat into the equation - I was a smooth talker and a womaniser...though at some point, I tried to curb my waywardness...I knew my weakness...irresistible to smooth foreheads...so I married another..no, she was not a trophy wife...just a simple kampong gal who was a little lost in Kota Bharu...thereon I put an end to all my activities..whether nocturnal or otherwise...I tried to be a good polygamist...and I know I would be, given the chance...in the divorce and the despair, I found my salvation...reconnected with the children and made their mother a friend...
20 comments:
in the end all works well kan?
Abe Mat....Abe Mat...so if your first wife had been a member of OWC, would it deter you from ... ehem.... straying? purrr....meow!
Salam Pakmat
I should never have harsh thoughts of the polygamist believing being too judgemental on this will have me also become the 'unfortunate' one.
I am reminded of a friend who had married again because the wife was usually 'sick' most nights. His beautiful and younger second wife became paralysed and he was that unfortunate for many years as having to wait on her.
Love your posting Pak Mat!!
Beautifully written!
Now that I'm a divorcee, I agree..I don't mind sharing..a good,loving, warak husband of course..ya ampun!!! hahaha
admire your forthrightness. at least you have the guts to admit you just didn't have what it takes to remain loyal to one wife, for reasons stated, thus the need to be polygamous because the only alternative would be 'makan diluar'..
Salam Pakmat,
nicely written.. as always, moved by your words..
ife is full of choices, they said, but i believe that it's not 100% ours to choose what kind of life to live or what kind of person to be.. I kinda believe that life works in a mysterious way, que sera sera and kun fayakun..
take care
You are my hero, Pakmat!! The ultimate ‘Survivor’….hehehe.
Anyway, I see it as your destiny to go thru’ that & I guess because u r educated & cultured, u r able to turned it into a sort of ‘happily ever after’ kind of life. Good onya mate!!
Btw; this post title sounds like a good name for a Legal Firm…hehehe
P/S - I tried trading Ah Soh in when she turned 40, for two 20y.o but the deal fell flat, & I nearly died....hahaha
Brother Mat,
At least you are honest and true to yourself.I refuse to coment on the so called Club of Obedient Wives (COW),they don't know what they are talking about. The column in NST toda says it all.
Salam, NanaDJ
Not many polygamist are as successful as you're Pakmat! Many left their wives and children to fend for themselves...the wives/children may look alright upfront, but underneath only God knows...I've often told my hubby if he ever wants to have a 2nd wife, I won't stop him, but I will curse them that they'll have new babies every year! even with birth control! So there! hahahahha...on another note, I really find it annoying when single mother said they don't mind being 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife to a good warak man. Sorry, but I just find it really really annoying...
Jamilah? Were you referring the single mother to me?
If you are thanks!
I am unfortunately already a menopausal divorcee..thank God or curses like yours may come true! :D
Btw..Good luck to you!
Ah, so good to hear that your admission of being a womaniser at this ripe old age. I really find it annoying when males say it's nothing sexual when they want to marry again, and possibly again and again.
Some women choose to marry someone else's husband, and some women choose to allow their husbands to marry again. But, do they REALLY have a choice? Or perhaps they feel it is the better of 2 evils?
Like you Pak Mat ... does your wife have a choice? I doubt it - being a simple kampong female - what can she do without a male? SO TYPICAL of the Kelantan female.
A
And by the way, if these women are whores, would that make you a pimp?
Pakmat,
Sorry . Seen so many polygamists around and many have lives that dont spell well...
maybe you're one lucky guy besides Cik Saleh Yaakob.
You made what is not always OK looks OK ;)). I got the feeling you might have many a sleepless night..(not because of the excitement) but still I admire you for trying to be honest.. :).
Somehow deep inside I believe you when you write that "polygamy is all for women...not so much for men..." maybe not all but mostly at least. ;)
tipikal lelaki. kemudahan agama tu buat kemudahan pemuas nafsu. pirahhhh!
..friends, I am not a successful polygamist..on many fronts, I failed..I persevered with the children after parting with their mothers...but, agreed..polygamy is not for everyone..whether man or woman..it needs a deeper understanding of the concept..and iman...thank you for your commnets..in a way, I am a typical man...cheers..and happy fathers day..take care, all..
meminjam kata-kata seorang pakar motivasi terkenal, Islam membenarkan poligami untuk menyelesaikan masalah, bukan untuk menambah masalah..
setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya (ayat standard :) )
Pa, u married mama in 1971..not 1973...then u got Tisa in May 1972!
ha ha ha..i can't help it but laugh. I see all the hype people are talking abt polygamy..but i think Pak Mat, it has taken a toll on you..you lose track by 2 years when you marry your wife (not sure whether that is first or second)..
On a second note, i believe that when the religion puts a condition for man and to by polygamous, it really means that thy shall not!..unless you are taking into your care a poor, desolate woman in need of help and there is nobody else like her family or friends.
I think i have read quite a lot, Nabi Muhammad did not use that rights until his First wife passed away. He was true to his wife and kids for 25 yrs.
Anyways..i am not God..we all be be judge when we cross over to another life..cheers :-)
..adik...I did?..sheesh, anon is right, polygamy has taken a toll on me..but you know that all along..cheers..taken..and hug the children for me..
..I mean, take care..
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