..youth of today...

..i thought youth of today never had it so good..what with all the gadgets of modern technology at their fingertips..things I as a youth never thought could possibly exist today...

..with the advent of transistor radios in the late fifties and early sixties, that is about the only source of music for this oldster then...enjoying the Beatles and Cliff Richard through tape recorders that uses miles of tape and through the radio with two inch speakers..and records, of course..those kind in 78, 45 or 33 rpm..gadgets that came complete with record players were in the in thing back then...called radiogram, names like Grundig and Telefunken came to mind...with National from Japan competing...

..with no cellphones, messages to mon cherie de amour were sent surreptitiously.. by hand or snailmail...ages before they were received...

...these days its Friendsters...Facebook...when before it was autograph books..circulated before year end holidays...and returned to the owner filled with 'FRANCE'..friendship remains and never can end..with a hidden ITALY among the pages...I trust and love you...

..when tv came in the middle sixties, things took a turn for the better...then it was Shindig and Startrek...savoured in glorious black and white...

..but things were simple then, uncomplicated...

..a song for all the young ones out there..enjoy your youth whilst you can...

..

..to Yasmin...

..I lost a friend a few days ago...a friend that I have never met..never talked..never even exchanged a simple hello...and during her lifetime, she was not even aware that I am around..but she was a friend, nonetheless...and I know, that if I were to walk up to her and introduced myself then, she would have greeted me like a long, lost friend..

.. we moved in different worlds...but her words, her messages I received clear and loud...words and messages that I would like to leave to my children and grandchildren..that we worship this One God, Who is most Compassionate and Loving..that we are created different that we may know each other and love each other..that through Him we seek guidance and bounty...

..she taught us to laugh at ourselves and accept our idiosyncrasies....and that there are no borders to loving each other..but, above all, she taught us to be humble...and for all that and more, friend, I am forever grateful..

..a little peeved...

..am walking around feeling a bit peeved and a little bit sad...peevish at being misunderstood and misconstrued and a little sad at being accused of something uncomplimentary ...

...and I really do not mind the misconstruing part..sometimes the best of intentions get misread..and , hey, we are all humans...we make mistakes...and this old coot has stalked this little corner of planet earth long enough to know that no matter how intelligent someone is..how high and complete the paper qualifications.. it all will come to naught if we cannot accept in all humility, that humans are frail creatures...it will all comes to naught if we do not have a little bit of grace in the heart and a little bit of magninamousity in attitude to accept apologies when given...that made me sad...

..for, indeed, we are all players on a temporal stage..leaving insignificant footprints that shake not the mountains...and dry not the sea..

..wistful thoughts..

..when you came back with a degree, 3 years ago, I was quietly proud of you...but your sisters had warned me that you were in love..and I said, ok, that's a fair position to be, considering you were young...'in love with a foreigner, pa, a Thai'...I shrugged..her sister married an Englander..

...but upon being told that he helped in the kitchen at a restaurant where you had your meals in between studies and he was lil bit younger than you, I thought you had to draw the line somewhere..but even then, I kept my peace...puppy and transitory, I thought..

...every time we met at your mother's house, I tried to joke you out of it..but you were steadfast in your love for him..even as I warned you that it will be a rough ride ahead..what with both of you jobless..not that I was really worried about you..with your degree, and passable command of English, some firm will take you in..but him?..no basic qualifications to show and with a social visit pass to boot?

..he can get a job here in Kota Bharu as a cook...and I can get a job anywhere..for I will and must marry him, pa, you said...your voice soft, your doe eyes pleading..'and we can stay here..' Here meaning the house that I had left..I glanced at her mother, who would welcomed him... her silence was consent...but a PATI as a son-in-law?..I did not even know where he was from...from the restive south, you said..hmm..a refugee seeking shelter from your generous heart...

...I did not mind him being a cook...he might even make it into the Asian Food Channel..but both of you were too young...and him younger....and he was definitely not in a position to support a wife..looking at him, I did not think he was even in a position to have a girlfriend...this part man part boy stood in front of me...and I sat there with my mind racing..why is it that you keep seeing reflections of your youth in your children?...

..now, three years later, two precious and precocious grandchildren later, you tell me that it is a mistake...your marriage is falling apart... he is out of job...you do not love him anymore...he is not what you thought he is...you want out...

..no, girl, it is not that easy..yes, marriage is a gamble..but you do not gamble the lives of your children by divorcing his father...not when the girl is only a few years old and the boy babystepping...

... there is not a man born yet who can satisfy the needs and requirements of a woman..none..there will be defects..shortcomings..you just have to learn to live with it..take the rough with the smooth...

..you are chickening out, girl...jumping ship at the first sign of a storm...and you have a passenger of two...and this oldster of a grandfather is putting off meeting you...hoping somehow this aberration will disappear..

..ahh..it was only yesterday that I picked you up and duh duh you to sleep and you holding tight onto the pacifier....

..an eulogy..

.. a distant relative by marriage died the other day.. he was 53 years old.. I hardly knew him when he was alive..we moved in different circles, as it were..but as is the norm in the kampong, we visited his grieving widow and his nine children..

it was a ramshackle of a home.. rickety and bare of items normally found in most homes..just an old tv set.. a mat on the floor. .a room without a door.. and not much else..

…later I was to learn that he was a daily rated construction worker… died of a fall whilst working on the forth floor of a building.

Mak Nik, the widow, was a full time housewife. ..with nine children,. I cannot imagine her doing anything else.. leaving the burden of bringing home the money to Pak Nik..but when she has the time, she will be packing charcoals into plastic sacks in a kiln nearby owned by her brother-in-law..earning 50 cents a sack..

… come tobacco-growing season, the whole family will be out on the field..hoeing out furrows, planting seedlings, nurturing the plants and finally harvesting..bringing much needed extra dollars…

..their eldest, a son, and still single, graduated 5 years ago and is a lecturer at one of the local university.. on a piece of ancestral land, he is building a modest home not far from the existing house..with 7 other siblings in school, marriage has been postponed..

..their second child, also a son, just graduated and is teaching somewhere..

….with two sons finishing universities and at the threshold of their respective careers, things are looking up for Paknik and Maknik…all those sacrifices, toils, and sheer hard work has borne fruits..that none of his children dropped out of school is a testimony of Paknik as a father, and Maknik as a mother…their children must be very proud of them..

..but he is dead now..no doubt his wife and children will missed him..the eldest will take over the mantle..life goes on regardless..tears hidden..gathering strength from each other..

..and so, to Paknik, Al-Fatihah..may you be in a special Garden bestowed by Him..and your face shined like a thousand suns as He says Salam…Peace..from your God Who is Most Loving..

..

..today's music..

..this oldster is never into present day music..even the rare ones that raised above the miasma of forgettables are forgotten after a while..music that emanated from my sons' room only resulted in me bellowing to them to bring the volume down...with them complaining to their mother that father 'is so old'.. well, old I might be, but this old man recognises good music when he hears one..

..and one good music of my time is Matt Monroe's 'And the music played'.. the title is a bit bland by today's standard, but the song and delivery is beyond description..but, then, you be the judge..

..when songs were simpler..

..a song I grew up with...

..thought for the day..

..politics bring out the worst in every man and woman...across the board...no exception..

...singles in the city..

..hopping blogs, I came across a few put up by singles…mostly professionals…alone out there in big cities…mostly gals…highly educated…have done stints abroad…confident and good at their job…past 30 or approaching 40…intelligent and self-assured…multi-faceted talents…articulate…and a lil bit sensitive about their single status…

…as to be expected, their blogs are well-presented…witty and entertaining….I found them mostly to be a good read…humorous and frank..honest, even…

..as I read through their pathos and ethos..hopes and despairs..I cannot help but feel for them…it must have been hard…to be single in the city…doubting the smiles of friends and collegues..for it could very well be snide remarks and sniggers behind their back..innocent queries hurt..attempts to matchmake are like slivers of glass to the heart…a reproach to their self-esteem..

… but through it all, somehow, they managed to retain their sanity..managed to see the humour in every incidents..juggling at their career, and, of course, competing with men..and, at the same time, trying to see through them...city-slickers of the male species are masters at subterfuge..

…having once a daughter who decided to forge it out on her own in the big city some years ago, I truly feel for them…

…and so, to all those single gals out there, to borrow a phrase from a cyber friend, get your blades out…

..just thinking..

..I have been thinking a lot lately...when you reached my age, you tend to think a lot, I supposed..seeing that pursuits are more of the cerebral kind than of any other kind...not that the libido is totally down...God has blessed with a relatively good health...oh..a lil bit of tinnitus, some whining in the ears, but bearable and only when in a passive mode..a lil case of reducible hernia..other than that everything else is as it should be..a bit worn but functioning..the spring is gone, but the steps are steady...

...what set me thinking was a comment by a facebook friend on the state of football in the country..he said it is atributable to the general decay of society as a whole...as I mulled over his comment, I realised that he has it spot on..ours is a degenerative society...I mean, look around you...read the papers..the state of our politics..the name-calling..religious decrees are issued at a drop of a hat..people are more divided than ever before..no thanks to the politicians, whose political interest overides all...the state of our social morals..old geezer died whilst with a transvestite...infants borned in toilets and drowned in pails...pornograhic clips in every kids handphones..rempit...the list is endless..and they are all symptoms of a decaying society..

..the rot has started at the hands, feet and mouths..we have to stem it..now..before we incur the wrath of Him up there...and He might just punished us for it..looking at the state of things, maybe He has, already...