..I got a 'pirrah' for my last posting..which is not too bad, considering that I expected worse...guys like me and polygamy will always be something distasteful to most women...but it is an imperfect world that we lived in..as they will always be men who have no qualms about taking on another younger wife and plead polygamy...as they will always be women who have no qualms about giving married men the eye and come hither look...
..undoubtedly, we have come a long way since the night of the first word, Ikraq...especially for Muslim women...no matter what they say about Islam and its women, Islam brought them out of the closet, in a manner of speaking...equality is a word carelessly flaunted to denote the bridge, imagined or non-existent, between the sexes...we talked about oppression and empowerment of and for women...mistaking the veil as an act of oppression and the bikini as empowerment...but modern, meaning Western, values have put on a strain on them..leading to a rarely acknowledged identity crisis..in the US, among the Pakistanis we have ABCD..American born Confused Desi..Do we have MBMC here?..Muslim Born Malay Confused?...
..in seeking equality with their male counterparts, they have to strike a balance between being a good Muslim and all the liberty of being a modern one...aurat is a case in point..do we flaunt it, now that we have it?..or do we hide it?..what is the message if we flaunt it?..that we are just as trapped in the standards of the West about what beauty is?..is it all there is to it in being a woman?..surely, no...take beauty pageants..protests should not be against the Muslim gal taking part in it, but against the competition being held at all...
..I am old schooled..and a bit conservative..to my mind there can never be equality among the sexes the way the women are seeking it...we are too different..we are created different..we are of two different parts that complement and supplement each other..seemingly equal yet not so...men have the little extras...but that little extras carry an almost unsurmountable load of responsibilities...
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14 comments:
Abe Mat,
There are many MBMCs around. Too many of them. Worse, there are who are actually MBMCs but act "holier than thou." I'd rather be a cat. purrr...meow!
..yes, my dear cat, ayam never has it so good..lol..
Ignorant, lack of ilmu agama, and people will start fighting for 'equality'. I wonder one day women will fight for position as fishermen.
The truth is, as you have mentioned above, we were created different. We have different purpose.
pak mat, it takes a lot more than talk about islamic justice when the muslims dont lift a finger in ensuring justice is served. heck i dont mind you consensual polygamists, but i do mind it when you marry and divorce and leave the kids uncared for with no money to support them. well, among other things.
Dear Pakmat, I'm not sure how many of your children are reading your blog. I feel that you're very frank in sharing you thoughts, and admitting your mistakes in life. I know you hope that they do not repeat the same mistakes in life. You're a good father. I think the older the kids, the more they can understand what their parents have gone through. I would like to wish you a Happy Father's Day!
In final analysis.. if we follow The Book.. we will be saved or at least much better off.. "what is equal to the non equal - for they say men are from Mars and women are from Venus"?..
So how equal is equal? it will be so subjective kan?
like Spiderman says... with great power, comes great responsibilities.. hehe.
I, for one, never want to be equal to men. I want to be taken care of, loved by and spoiled by man! At the same time I want to enjoy my freedom as a person, not just as a woman. There are some things men are better than women and vice versa. At the end of the day, everyone wants to be respected as they are...
kadang kala apa yang Pak Mat
kata itu benar...
kehidupan sememangnya tidak sempurna
tanpa kekuatan dan ketabahan..
have a nice day Pak Mat...
Pakmat, I have only this much to say..I was so against poligamy before and being the first wife now I can humbly say poligamy saved me.Alhamdullilah.
I for one believe, why fight for equality when Allah has accorded woman a status high and special. Fighting to be equal will just bring women down to a lower level. Fitrah lelaki dan perempuan berbeza, takkan ada persamaan dari segi "hak" secara mutlaknya.
Dearest Pak Mat,
Nothing is forever. The same goes with love. We can love someone today, and fall head over heels for someone else tomorrow. I have come to accept that as a fact of life. I feel that if u stop loving your spouse by loving someone else, then, by all means, let her go...set her free if thats what she wants...
Anyway, I've always enjoyed reading your thoughts..thanks Pak Mat.
Salam Pak Mat, apa khabar?
Equality between the sexes? Hmmm... for me I talked about man to my daughter so that she know how to handle expectation from the opposite sex. And on the same token I talked about woman to my son, what should and wahts not. Simirlarly I bought tudong for my daughter, and obviously I should not buy the same to my son, so I bought him a nice kupiah. Thats equality in my dictionary.
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