Saturday 18 June 2011

..MBMC - Muslim Born Malay and Confused..

..I got a 'pirrah' for my last posting..which is not too bad, considering that I expected worse...guys like me and polygamy will always be something distasteful to most women...but it is an imperfect world that we lived in..as they will always be men who have no qualms about taking on another younger wife and plead polygamy...as they will always be women who have no qualms about giving married men the eye and come hither look...

..undoubtedly, we have come a long way since the night of the first word, Ikraq...especially for Muslim women...no matter what they say about Islam and its women, Islam brought them out of the closet, in a manner of speaking...equality is a word carelessly flaunted to denote the bridge, imagined or non-existent, between the sexes...we talked about oppression and empowerment of and for women...mistaking the veil as an act of oppression and the bikini as empowerment...but modern, meaning Western, values have put on a strain on them..leading to a rarely acknowledged identity crisis..in the US, among the Pakistanis we have ABCD..American born Confused Desi..Do we have MBMC here?..Muslim Born Malay Confused?...

..in seeking equality with their male counterparts, they have to strike a balance between being a good Muslim and all the liberty of being a modern one...aurat is a case in point..do we flaunt it, now that we have it?..or do we hide it?..what is the message if we flaunt it?..that we are just as trapped in the standards of the West about  what beauty is?..is it all there is to it in being a woman?..surely, no...take beauty pageants..protests should not be against the Muslim gal taking part in it, but against the competition being held at all...

..I am old schooled..and a bit conservative..to my mind there can never be equality among the sexes the way the women are seeking it...we are too different..we are created different..we are of two different parts that complement and supplement each other..seemingly equal yet not so...men have the little extras...but that little extras carry an almost unsurmountable load of responsibilities...

..

Wednesday 8 June 2011

..polgamists, whores and hookers..

..no,I did not marry my wives because they behave like whores..I think I married them because of my dislike for whores...not that I did not, as a youth in the big city of KL seek them out...I was just as curious as the next boy about sex..pornography in the sixties came in the form of little magazines surreptitiously passed around in brown office envelopes...sometimes, opportunities made us  huddled together over an 8mm projector with a decaying concrete wall as a screen, in a room stifled by cigarette  smokes..

...the learning process and maturing  period for pakmat in the sixties was not always smooth..but KL then was a bit laidback..The Strollers held concerts at Stadium Negara and a neighbour's daughter, all of her 16 years old, was smitten with me...marriage was never in the equation..being not able to see beyond yesterday, if someone then were to tell me that I would one day be a polygamist, I would in all probability shrugged my shoulders in disbelief...

..but all that did not stop me from marrying my Audrey Hepburn on the 1st of April, 1973 and took another much younger wife 15 years later, 6 daughters and a son later...of course, that made me into a rogue, a cur, an ogre and a dragon...and most time, I would just stand there and say that I am guilty...I am all that...I was forty when I became a polygamist...and now, at 66, 3 marriages and 2 divorces, later, I like to think that it was polygamy that saved me...

..you see, I was never meant to be a one woman man...some men are just like that...even now, at 66, frail and rotting, I would again, but did not, not because for the lack of a willing mate, but because I am in a better position to control  my actions...there are several truths, bitter or otherwise, we just have to accept...one, that to most men, sex is just  a matter of getting an ejaculation...two, there will always be women who chose, voluntarily, to become whores and hookers, as there will always be women who would not mind sharing husbands, no matter what their religion is...and three, if we can be genderless for a moment, and view it from a world view, polygamy is all for women...not so much for men...(oh..oh..I can see the bricks and excrement being aimed at me..:)) but I will not elaborate on this..I am trying to keep religion out...

..bringing back pakmat into the equation - I was a  smooth talker and a womaniser...though at some point, I tried to curb my waywardness...I knew my weakness...irresistible to smooth foreheads...so I married another..no, she was not a trophy wife...just a simple kampong gal who was a little lost in Kota Bharu...thereon I put an end to all my activities..whether nocturnal or otherwise...I tried to be a good polygamist...and I know I would be, given the chance...in the divorce and the despair, I found my salvation...reconnected with the children and made their mother a friend...